SOMEONE named Tess Underwood uploaded a question in “Yahoo! Answers” that’s very demeaning to Filipinos. Here’s a copy:
Here’s the actual page: CLICK THIS.
The problem with this entry is that if you Google “Pinoy Pride”, it comes out as the second item in the Google search list (right after the Pinoy Pride Network site).
This negative opinion has become the second reference material for Pinoy Pride searches on line.
Which is quite unfair to all Filipinos and the Philippines.
I got so pissed, I wanted to give my Yahoo answer but the page has closed.
Tess has accepted and gave a high rating to an answer that affirms her distorted beliefs (you can see it there).
So, I’ve decided to post my answer, my scanned thoughts, here.
I am proud to be a Filipino and I will try to answer ALL her opinions one by one to enlighten her on what being a Filipino is really about:
Opinion 1: Filipinos always brag to be part Chinese, part American, part Dutch, part Korean, part Japanese, part Spanish. I have yet to meet one that says they are proud to be….Filipino.
My answer: If you know about the rich history of the Filipinos, you would not even ask this question. Filipinos are part African, Indonesian, Malaysian, Chinese, Spanish, American, Japanese, Arab, Korean, Australian and European.
The original “Filipinos” were the dark-skinned Negritos who walked all the way from Africa when the Pangaea continent still existed (we still have some of these ethnic Filipinos in Subic; you also see them in Manila during Christmas). Next to come were the Indones (from Indonesia) who brought their culture and language to our land, that’s why we have a lot of similar customs and traditions with them (our ancient handwriting, a lot of Filipino words, the the musical instruments angklung and gamelan). Last were the Malays (from Malaysia) who brought the Muslim religion to Southern Philippines. Later the Chinese traders came, who passed in our islands to trade with the Indones and Malays. When we were colonized by Spain, they gave our islands the collective name “Islas Filipinas” and the island natives were called “Filipino” after King Philip of Spain. That’s why Rizal—who is Filipino—is also half-Chinese.
So, even before the Spaniards came in the 1500s, we have been a rich mixture of different races; that’s what makes us different. That’s why we are also one of the most beautiful races in the world. That’s why the Westerners, the Arabs and other Asian countries fall in love with our Pinay beauties, court them and later marry them for keeps. That’s also why we have the Fil-American-Arab-European-Korean-Japanese children who are all products of post WW II inter-racial marriages brought about by war/ tourism/business/jobs abroad.
Remember, these are very open-minded foreigners who have chosen to marry Pinays against the accepted norms of their own societies. So, it’s a sacrifice for both husband and wife; it’s also a bit confusing for us, the products of these unions. However, we have to be proud of this fact—that being Filipino is being part of another race– that we were able to survive all those challenges in our history to produce a racial breed that is culturally, beautifully, intellectually, creatively mixed and diverse.
Only Nazis would strictly tolerate a society of pure breeds. And you should know how that idea ended.
Opinion 2: 100% of the ‘famous Filipino’ actors and models, are only 1/4th Filipino.
My answer: This is a baseless generalization. You need to give specific names of these “famous Filipinos” before you insinuate that your statements are factual. What is true in the context of Philippine show business today is that a lot of these “famous actors and models” use the term Filipino because they are trying to work in the Philippines as actors and models or would want to get a fan base in the Philippines. If they present themselves as foreigners, they might not get hired, because by then the Department of Foreign Affairs would require them a work permit which will cost them and their employers a lot of money. Certainly the common Pinoy Fan wouldn’t want to idolize them for being too-Hollywood. So, it’s not about Pinoy Pride; it’s more about show-Business. I guess if you think they don’t deserve to be called Filipinos, the best way for you to handle your personal baggage against them is to boycott whatever products or programmes they endorse. Otherwise just let them earn a living.
Here’s a better list of certified “famous Filipino” celebrities:
Opinion 3: All the products in the Philippines say “export quality”. That means it’s so good, it’s good for foreigners. Shouldn’t it say ‘Pinoy quality’?
My answer: If you are going to talk about products from the Philippines from a business perspective and you would want to successfully market that product internationally, the term “export quality” would be the best description. You need to use words that everybody in the world would understand so that they would buy your product. Also remember, most of these exports are produced and marketed in a free market system that involves plenty of sharing of ideas, raw materials and investments from our partner countries, so why should Pinoys take all the credit? You should think globally if you’re selling to a global market.
“The Philippines exports continue with its upward trend throughout 2012. While US and Japan have remained the country’s two largest export markets, China and ASEAN countries have grown in importance. Other key markets include Hong Kong, Germany, Netherlands, South Korea, France and India.”
Opinion 4: Almost all of the products have Japanese, Chinese, English, or Korean writing. Giving the impression that these products are exported. With the exception of San Miguel products, Philippines products ARE NOT exported. It is mere faux Japanese, and faux Chinese.
My answer: If these are “faux Japanese and faux Chinese”, then the manufacturers have just wasted a large amount of their printing budget. Do you think any businessman would spend for something that will not have any purpose? In advertising, the more text and colour you put in the label design the more production cost you incur. I think you should be happy when you see foreign words in the items you consume because it means you have been being given an opportunity to taste what the rest of the world are having. These are authentic products for export—usually they are production overruns (sobra). So, some of them end up in the local markets even if they’re not supposed to.
“The Philippines is fast becoming a regional staging area for foreign food manufacturers that seek to penetrate the lucrative East and South East Asian market for processed products. This country has been identified for the ability of its workforce to manufacture high quality, differentiated or niche-market, and high valued products using both domestic and duty-free imported raw materials.”
Opinion 5: Courtship, Filipino style: If Filipinos had pride, then why do the girls here scream and beg to be with any foreigner who happens to walk down the street? Why does everyone here offer their niece, daughter, sister, grand daughter, etc. for marriage to a total stranger, so long as he is foreign? Even if the girl is a teenager, and the foreigner is a 200 kilo, 73 year old in a wheelchair? Why do people offer their children for sex, as young as 5?
My answer: If you’re talking about prostitution and sex trade, why are you focussing only on Filipinos? This “system” is legal in 50% of all countries in the world. It is even illegal in the Philippines! Do not generalize that everyone in the Philippines does it. If you’re talking about our 101,833,938 Filipino citizens nationwide, how much of that number do you think “scream and beg to be with any foreigner who happens to walk down the street”?
Prostitution—the oldest profession in the world– is a common story in all countries where poverty is very high and strict traditions are followed. It’s even worst in Eastern Europe (with their economy going to the dumps). It’s been happening in the Arab world, Africa, India, Japan and China for centuries (with their arranged marriages to privileged men in exchange for land and cattle). Even the crack addicts in the United States are doing the same thing (most of the time they don’t even get married—they just sell sex, later to buy drugs). It’s not the country, its poverty. And there are a lot of poor people all over the world, not only in the Philippines, if no one has told you yet.
Opinion 6: If they have pride, then why do they charge dishonest prices at the wet market?
My answer: It’s not dishonest. It’s called price mark-ups. In the business of selling, you need capital to buy or create your product. To be able to make a profit out of that product you need to sell it at a price that is more than your capital. Some prices are intentionally high at wet markets because it’s also a common practice to haggle with the customer to come up with an acceptable price for both the vendor and the buyer. And yes, like all your previous assumptions, it does not only happen in the Philippines. If you think, its way overpriced, then go to the nearest police station or barangay hall or a DTI Office and have the vendor arrested.
Watch one man’s experience in Bali, INDONESIA:
Opinion 7: Where is the pride, when, if a foreigner goes out in public, everyone smiles, points, stares, and shouts at them. Tries to pawn off stolen goods, or over-priced goods. Or yells rude, inappropriate things?
My answer: Clearly you’ve never been to New York City, USA where illegal vendors, who are also irritating to the public is a big problem:
Or INDIA, where everyone in the market place “smiles, points, stares, and shouts…tries to pawn off stolen goods, or over-priced goods. Or yells rude, inappropriate things”.
Click this proof >> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDBoyX17QBM
Again—Not only in the Philippines!!!
Opinion 8: Finally, If the Philippine is so great, then why is it everyone’s dream to get out, and move to another country? The Philippines is a tiny nation, yet 50,000, FIFTY THOUSAND, migrate to the USA alone, PER YEAR. That’s just one nation. Let alone Australia, UK, Japan, etc. 2,500 Filipinos migrate out of their country-PER DAY. That’s over a MILLION per yer. If the Philippines is the best place on Earth, why leave?
My answer: Where did you get this stupid information? 50,000 people a year?! How? The Philippines is not even on the global list of countries with the highest migration rate. In Qatar, only 10% of their citizens are staying in their country to work. 90% of the Qataris are staying out of their country. Does that mean they don’t like being in their country?
Click this source:
Do you know why were not on the list? It’s actually very hard for Filipinos to leave the country with all the paperwork alone (legal or otherwise), not to mention the enormous cost. Migrating is very expensive. And do you know how hard it is for Filipinos to change citizenship abroad? If you speak to all the Filipinos who are now abroad, if given a choice, they would rather come back and die old in the Philippines. But why do the eager ones leave? It’s because we get higher salaries abroad. Why, because we Filipinos have a highly regarded international reputation as very hardworking, loyal and intelligent. We leave to work and get paid well, but surely we will be back home again.
Opinion 9: There. Only a few things to look at. I’m not racist, nor political. I just think it would be better if Filipinos said “okay, this place sucks, but…..”. Instead of making it seem like the paradise that it’s not.
I am really quite curious about this. ‘Pinoy Pride’ is something in-yo-face every day here, but where is it REALLY? Any constructive feedback? Salamat po!
My answer: If indeed you are Filipino (as you claim to be), and you love your country (as you seem to insinuate) then you should be proud of your country and your countrymen. We should always say WE ARE PROUD OF THE PHILIPPINES because in the end, even if you say “it sucks” it’s the only country we have. It’s the only home for the Filipinos. It’s the only paradise for Proud Filipinos.
Truth be told, you will never feel totally accepted anywhere else in the world except in your own country. You will never be treated as an equal by another race in their own country. Ask anyone who have been abroad.
Sad to say– you are racist, political and very ignorant.
But it’s not too late.
I hope I have helped you change your mind set about your country and your countrymen.
If I haven’t, then shame on you.
And everyone else who agree with you.
MABUHAY ANG PILIPINAS!
MABUHAY ANG MGA PILIPINO!
(aLJI, June 2012)
REMEMBER Kurt Cobain, the flawed but fantastic lead singer of the legendary grunge group Nirvana?
He married Courtney Love just before blowing his head off in the ’90s.
They had a daughter, Frances Bean.
Well, she’s now 18.
Click this LINK for more photos of this Rock Princess.
The anime version was shown in Japan from 1972 to 1974. After its local run, it steadily spread throughout Asia (1979) and Europe (1980) and finally, the USA (1985) as “Tranzor Z”.
In the Philippines, we were quite ahead af the West in our exposure to Japanese anime. The Mecha Robots, a different one everyday, was shown every afternoon in GMA-7 right after coming home from grade school’s afternoon session (the “pang-hapon”); just before the top-rated soap opera “Ana Lisa” (with its Roberta Flack theme “If Ever I See You Again“).
Here’s every Filipino child’s TV schedule in 1979:
In September 1980, then President Ferdinand Marcos removed them from TV for “excessive violence”.
In the streets, Martial Law was raging.
Just maybe, he thought “excessive violence” in real life was enough.
IF you still DON’T UNDERSTAND what’s going on in Japan right now…
CLICK the video BELOW
and start PRAYING for the people in Fukushima.
Additional links (please click, too) :
LETTER NO. 1
Dear POTENTIAL VICTIM,
My name is Capt. Peter Harrison, from United Kingdom. I work with Edmiston Yachting Company in United Kingdom. I came across your profile on Facebook and decided to mail to ask if you’ll be interested in a job. We are a privately owned yachting company, and the destination is always from Essex London to Ireland, Portsmouth and North-East Europe. Accommodation will be provided by the company.
Hope to hear from you if you are intrested.
Reply to: email@example.com
Also, we want to use this medium to inform you that other vacancies are available, so therefore do let us know if you have an interest in working in any of the areas in which Edmiston Yachting Company Job Offers. Below are the Vacancies:
*Engineer *Captain *Stew work *Mate Engineer *Deckhand *First Mate *Stewardess *Chef *Steward *Chef Stew *Cook Stew *Stewardess *Masseuse *2nd Engineer *Waiter *Customer Care Representatives *Guest Room Attendants *Cleaners *Estate-managers *Head Housekeepers *Gardeners *Housekeepers *House-managers *Maternity Nurse *Lady’s Maids *Butlers *Cooks/Chefs *Mother’s Help *Caretakers *Nannies *Chauffeurs *Tutors *Private Bodyguards *Governess
Job Salary: Depending on your roll of specialization, Salary Ranging from 4, 500.00 GBP to 8, 500.00 GBP or negotiable and We shall take care of your Transportation expenses, Accommodation, feeding and a month training on arrival.
If you are interested to work with us in any position, please kindly send your resume to our via e-mail (captpeterharrison.yahoo.com) immediately with your personal details including your roll of profession/Skill of Specialization.
Capt. Peter Harrison
(POTENTIAL VICTIM SENDS HIS/HER RESUME)
LETTER NO. 2
Dear POTENTIAL VICTIM,
We appreciate your interest in working with us and we have open an application file with reference number XXXX/UK/XXX/SEA/XXXX. We have gone through your CV and We found the post of XXXXXXX for you with salary amount of X,XXX GB Pounds per month.The destination is always from London, France,Ireland,Belgium,Norway,Wales and USA.
The company will provide free accommodation ,Insurance (NIN) ,Flight Ticket,Tax Free and many more benefit you will see in your Appointment Letter.
Working Days & time: Monday to Friday: 8:00 AM – 6:00PM (GMT)
Saturday & Sunday: 10:00 Am – 4:00 PM (GMT)
Shift Time: Morning and Night.
Contract Period: 2 Years contract and it can be extended if only you wish to remain with our company
Vacation : 3 Month Vacation Interval for you to visit your love ones and family back home
As a notice of acceptance of job offer , we shall send you appointment and invitation letter for you to sign and return the sign copy back to us for record purpose . so therefore kindly let us know if you are satisfy with the salary rate above in order for us to proceed further.
We await to hear from you ASAP.
Capt Peter Harrison
(POTENTIAL VICTIM SENDS A REPLY LETTER
SAYING HE/SHE IS MORE THAN SATISFIED WITH THE OFFER)
LETTER NO. 3
Dear POTENTIAL VICTIM,
We want to use this opportunity in congratulating you in advance for accepting to join our company. How soon do you want to come or can you make it down here within the next two week as we are urgently in need of you to arrive here as soon as possible .If you know it is possible for you to arrive here within the next two weeks , kindly find attached to this mail job interview questionnaire for you to fill and submit back to us so that it will speed up the process of your appointment letter.
We advice you to keep record of your application reference number and we hope you are not attached to any company presently so that you will focus on your job application as we are highly in need of you to arrive here soon, if not kindly let us know now before you sign any contract agreement with us.If yes we suggest that you start writing your resignation now to whom ever you are working for, so that you can pay more attention to your new job ,if only you are really serious about this job offer..
*Date of Birth :
We await your immediate response to this mail.
Capt Peter Harrison
(POTENTIAL VICTIM ANSWERS THE JOB INTERVIEW FORM AND SENDS IT BACK. PREPARES HIS/HER RESIGNATION LETTER)
Dear POTENTIAL VICTIM,
Attached to this mail is your appointment letter , you are to carefully go through this appointment letter and make sure you have a thorough understanding of the terms and conditions contained therein because your signing it translates to your acceptance of the terms and condition contained therein and they will be binding on you throughout your contract stay with us . You are to sign the appointment by printing out only the last page of the appointment document, then write your signature and date at the appropriate spaces provided and send back to us via email for record purpose.
Since you are convince that you will arrive here within 2 week from now..we dont need to delay much time as your service is highly needed ..so therefore after receiving the Sign appointment letter , we shall proceed with the preparation of your traveling document. Please kindly inform us of the date you want us to fix on your flight ticket.
Congratulations on your success
Capt. Peter Harrison
(POTENTIAL VICTIM RECEIVES THIS LETTER.)
(SIGNS THE APPOINTMENT LETTER. STARTS PACKING HIS/HER BAGS)
Dear POTENTIAL VICTIM,
We have received your signed appointment letter .We have recorded the document to your application file number of XXXX/UK/XXX/SEA/XXXX. So therefore to proceed further , attached to this mail is your Invitation Letter. We were at the Airport today to make arrangement for the booking of your flight ticket, but they did not allow us because they were requesting for your Valid U.K Visa Number (Traveling Document) and also the nearest airport name close to your location.so therefore you are require to forward a copy of the invitation to the British Embassy for the processing of your traveling document. This is very important because without the document , they will not allow you to pass the boarder and gain entry to work and live in United Kingdom . Remember that we are offering you a contract of 2 years , so remember to inform them as well. Follow our instruction carefully and we assure you that they will grant you ,your Traveling Document.
below is the details of Immigration Office .
UNITED KINGDOM IMMIGRATION SERVICES
Contact Person: Mr Gordon F. Rutherford
Designation: HEAD OF VISA/PERMITS OPERATIONS.
Kindly contact the above office via email (firstname.lastname@example.org) and let them know that you’ve been offered a job from Capt. Peter Harrison.Kindly explain to them that should assist you in processing your Traveling Document (UK Visa) and make sure you do this as soon as you receive this mail so that it will be done before end of this week in order for you to depart and arrive here as soon as you have the complete traveling document deliver to you.
Update us with the process between you and the British Embassy so that we can also follow along as to the date your traveling document will be ready so that we can book for your flight ticket and please don’t forget to provide us with the nearest airport name close to your location.
Congratulations on your success.
Capt. Peter Harrison
How can you determine if a job offer is legitimate?– by Lee Gallacher:
1. First, look for misspellings and bad grammar in the body of their email.
2. If a passport agency or recruitment agency has a yahoo, googlemail, consult.com (in this instance) and not a dedicated mail server, it is most likely a scam.
3. Do not scan and email your passport, personal data or passport photos. Demand a physical address with offer of FedEx the requested information. Most likely, they will request you to scam and email your data. And if a physical address is proffered, match it to the IP location to insure it is a match.
5. Never EVER send money to an agency. If a company asks for “processing fees, document fees;” it is a scam. These scam artists like to use Western Union, which is a tip-off.
6. When on a public forum, NEVER publish your email address.
7. If there is a request to click on a link, first, run your cursor over the link. A small window will show the actual link. In a scam, the address in the link does not match the link in the body of the email; another sign of scam. Opening such a link may infect your computer with a virus, spybot or Trojan horse.
The proliferation of identity and monetary theft is very real on the internet. Be cautious when replying to job offers.
POTENTIAL VICTIM WRITES A BLOG ABOUT IT.
YOU’VE JUST READ IT.
NAALALA KO minsang nag-iinuman kami ng tropa at batung-bato na sa mga kuwentuhang paulit-ulit lang ang topic — may nag-suggest na maglaro kami ng kakaibang laro:
Simple lang ang rules na on-the-spot lang pinagkasunduan ng lahat:
- Iinom muna ng isang basong beer ang taong titira sa dart board.
- Tapos, babato ng tig-dalawang darts.
- Ia-add ang total points ng dalawang throws.
- One turn bawat player.
- Ang pinakamababang score pagkatapos ng isang round ng batuhan ay dapat mag-aalis ng isang saplot na nakasuot sa katawan.
Ala-una ito ng madaling araw. Nasa labas kami ng isang bahay. Sa isang garahe sa tabi ng kalyeng madalas daanan ng mga tao. Dahil puro lasing na, walang paki na pumayag ang lahat. Mga walo kaming tipsy na kasali sa ka-istupiduhang ito.
Unang round: Unang bato ng darts, ‘yung mga mababa ang score, nagtanggalan na ng relo, singsing, kuwintas, cellphone at sapatos. Easy. Umalingawngaw ang tawanan at alaskahan sa katahimikan ng gabing iyun.
Round two: Next na inalis ng mga natalo ay t-shirts, medyas, sinturon. Ang tawanan ang napalitan ng halakhak.
Pangatlong round: Titira na ang unang biktima na may pinakamababang iskor. Delikado ang lagay niya dahil halos hubad na siya at nakapantalon na lang– kaya ‘pag mababa ulit ang score niya, pantalon na ang susunod na matatanggal. Tawanan sa excitement ang mga naghihintay sa tira niya. Inalaska na siya nang todo.
At mahirap nga ang maging bobo sa dart.
Pagtapos ng round na ‘yun, siya na naman ang pinakamababa ang puntos. Lagot.
“Hubad naaaa! Hahaha!” sigawan ang lahat ng may mataas na iskor. Parang naging beerhouse na may illegal boldshow ang garahe.
Susunod kaya si Low Scorer sa pinagkasunduan? Sa kanya nakasalalay ang tagumpay ng palaro. Kung aayaw siya, siguradong wala nang maghuhubad na susunod.
Ang kanyang last words: “’Ta**-ina n’yo– ‘pag hindi kayo sumunod, yari kayo sa akin!” sabay hubad ng kanyang kupas na jeans.
Halakhakan ang lahat sa pagkagulat!
Sumunod sa pinagkasunduan ang loko! Tahulan din ang mga aso sa labas na parang nakikitawa dahil sa hitsura ng kawawang talunan: Maluwag ang brief niya, tabatchoy, mabalahibo na parang pinaghalong Al Tantay at Apeng Daldal ang dating.
Round four and five: Ewan kung dahil ba sa sobrang alcohol, lahat ay wiling-wili na naghuhubaran. Naka-underwear na lang ang players by this time.
Maginaw na ang hangin. Nanginginig na ang ilan sa lamig pero tawanan pa rin. Alaskahan tungkol sa mga bilbil sa tiyan, mga hindi pantay-pantay na kulay ng balat dahil sa sinag ng araw, mga nakatagong galis at mga parte ng katawang maraming balahibo kahit hindi dapat.
Round six: May taong sumisigaw sa gate! “Tao poooo! Tao poooo!”
Si Mang Cando, isa sa pinakarespetadong lasenggo ng baranggay. Pagkatapos niyang mag-”Tao Po” bigla na lang siyang pumasok sa gate gaya nang nakagawian niya tuwing naghahanap siya ng libreng alak.
Akala ni Mang Cando mga kumpare niya ‘yung mga nag-iinuman. Tatagay sana siya.
Napatigil si Mang Cando. Napatigil din kami.
Nagkatitigan ang lahat at nagtatanong sa isip: “Paano na?”
Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Mang Cando sa nakita niya.
Hindi na kami nakapag-damit.
Apat na naka-brief.
At dalawang labas ang pwet.
Mga machong-lasing na nakangiti at nakatingin kay Mang Cando.
Puro kami lalaki.
“YAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!” nagsisigaw siyang tumakbo palabas ng gate.
“Pu****-ina! Mga bakla! BAKLAAA!!! Patawarin kayooo!!!”
Malayo na siya dinig pa rin naming lahat ang kanyang takot na takot na pagsigaw.
Nabalitaan namin, mula noong gabing ‘yun, hindi na muling uminom ng alak si Mang Cando.
Hindi na rin kami … nag-darts.
Pero tuwing nakakasalubong namin si Mang Cando,
kinikindatan namin siya.
IN this day and age, impossible things happening are quite possible.
“Black” Obama is now living in the White House.
Ninoy’s Noynoy got elected in the Philippines.
The most Perfect Tiger in the history of golf wasn’t as perfect as everybody thought.
A Time Traveler from the 21st Century was caught on film in Charlie Chaplin’s 1928 movie.
And now this:
MANNY PACQUIAO DOES A DUET WITH COMEDIAN WILL FERRELL!!!
PAC THEM ALL!
KUNG sa tingin mo sexy ka… kaya ka nagpo-post ng bikini/underwear pictures mo sa facebook?
Panoorin mo ito:
AFTER mo’ng mapanood ‘yung video sa itaas, sa tingin mo makakalusot ka ‘pag tinanggal mo na ‘yung mga pa-sexy mong litrato sa facebook?
Panoorin mo ito:
Remember, you will eventually GROW OLD and will probably have kids.
I FOUND one more post about the good ol’ days credited to some anonymous netizen called “Oldie” whose sentimentality touched the hearts of even the ’80s and ’90s Generation. Based on this website it was first posted on 11 February 2007 titled “Born in the ’40s, ’50s, ’60s, ’70s?” before getting popular in the email circuit. Somebody (obviously a Filipino) later changed it’s western context and adapted it to the lifestyle of a Pinoy-kid in the ’70s and ’80s.
Here’s “Noong Unang Panahon Part 3″:
“First, some of us survived being born to mothers who did not have an OB-Gyne and drank San Miguel Beer while they carried us. While pregnant, they took cold or cough medicine, ate isaw, and didn’t worry about diabetes.
“Then after all that trauma, our baby cribs were made of hard wood covered with lead-based paints, pati na yung walker natin, matigas na kahoy din at wala pang gulong. We had no soft cushy cribs that play music, no disposable diapers (lampin lang at ‘pardible’ o safety pins).
“When we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads , sometimes wala pang preno yung bisikleta.
“As children, we would ride in hot un-airconditioned buses with wooden seats (yung JD bus na pula), or cars with no airconditioning & no seat belts (ngayon lahat may aircon na).
“Riding on the back of a carabao on a breezy summer day was considered a treat. Ngayon hindi na nakakakita ng kalabaw ang mga bata.
“We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle purchased from 7-11 (minsan straight from the faucet or poso). We shared one soft drink bottle with four of our friends, and NO ONE actually died from his. Or contacted hepatitis. We ate rice with star margarine, drank raw eggs straight from the shell, and drank sofdrinks with real sugar in it (hindi diet coke), but we weren’t sick or overweight kasi nga……
“WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!!
“We would leave home in the morning and play all day, and get back when the streetlights came on.
“Sarap mag patintero, tumbang preso , habulan at taguan. No one was able to reach us all day (di uso ang cellphone , walang beepers). And yes, we were O.K.
“We would spend hours building our wooden trolleys (yung bearing ang gulong) or plywood slides out of scraps and then ride down the street , only to find out we forgot the brakes! After hitting the sidewalk or falling into a canal (seweage channel) a few times, we learned to solve the problem ourselves with our bare & dirty hands .
“We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 100 channels on cable, no DVD movies, no surround stereo, no IPOD’s, no cell phones, no computers, no Internet, no chat rooms, no Facebooks, and no Friendsters. ……
BUT WE HAD REAL FRIENDS and we went outside to actually talk and play with them!
“We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no stupid lawsuits from these accidents. The only rubbing we get is from our friends with the words..’Masakit ba?’ Pero pag galit yung kalaro mo,,,,ang sasabihin sa iyo..’Beh buti nga!’
“We played marbles (jolens) in the dirt , washed our hands just a little and ate dirty ice cream & fish balls. we were not afraid of getting germs in our stomachs.
“We had to live with homemade guns ‘ gawa sa kahoy, tinali ng rubberband , sumpit , tirador at kung ano ano pa na puedeng makasakitan. .Pero masaya pa rin ang lahat.
“We made up games with sticks (syatong ), and cans (tumbang preso) and although we were told they were dangerous, wala naman tayong binulag o napatay. Paminsan minsan may nabubukulan lang.
“We walked, rode bikes, or took tricycles to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them to jump out the window!
“Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t pass had to learn to deal with the disappointment. Wala yang mga childhood depression at damaged self esteem ek-ek na yan. Ang pikon, talo.
“That generation of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, creative thinkers and successful professionals ever! They are the CEO’s, Engineers, Doctors and Military Generals of today.
“The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had failure, success, and responsibility. We learned from our mistakes the hard way.
“You might want to share this with others who’ve had the luck to grow up as real kids. We were lucky indeed. And if you like, forward it to your kids too, so they will know how brave their parents were.”
HERE’S my favorite song this week:
You know that I am called THE COUNT
Because I really love to *bleep*
Sometimes I sit and *bleep* all day
Sometimes I get carried away
I *bleep* slowly, slowly, slowly getting faster
Once I start *bleep-ing* it’s very hard to stop
Faster, faster, it is so exciting
I could *bleep* forever
*Bleep* until I drop– Hah!
1…2…3…4 — 1,2,3,4 — 1,2,3,4 —
1, 2… I love *bleep-ing* whatever the amount
1,2,3,4… Hey-yeh-yeh-yeh…. hey-yeh-yeh-yeh
1,2,3,4… 1,2– that’s the song of the Count
I *bleep* the spiders on the wall
I *bleep* the cobwebs on the hall
I *bleep* the candles on the shelf
When I’m alone I *bleep* Myself
(AND NOW FOR THE MELODY, CLICK THE VIDEO BELOW)
Tired of Waiting? … CLICK THIS INSTEAD.
IT was jazz an ordinary day. The skies were clear, the birds were chipping. Ang ganda-ganda ng araw! Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos ko lang mamili ng groceries. Timing naman nasa foodcore si Angel Locsin, nagpro-provoke ng movie nya. Grabe, andaming fans, pull-packed talaga! Dahil fans nya rin ako, nakipila na rin ako. Then suddenly, out of the loo, may bumulong sa akin ng :
Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound. Who can it be now? ”Dodong!” sigaw ko. Napalakas yata voice ko. Kasi the other fans turned their backs to their behind at napatingin sa amin. Sabi ko “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be loud and proud.” Hinawakan na lang ni Dodong ang kamay ko at lumayo kami from the crowd.
”Kamusta na Inday? Do you come here open?” tanong nya.
“Bihira lang, Dodong. I’m just droppings by. Ethnic ang schedule ko eh” sabi ko. Memories came flushing in my mind. How can I forget to remember Dodong? Siya na may mata ni Piolo, dimple ni Aga, at bigote ni Rex Cortez. He’s every woman’s dreamboat. I was just starting my tour of duty kay ate noon nang unang makilala ko si Dodong. Contraction worker siya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat namin. Naging kami for a while then after that were not an item anymore.
“Tanghali na Inday. What did you say we have lunch together?” tanong ni Dodong. ”I don’t mine,” sagot ko.
Sa restaurant, nilapitan kaagad kami ng waiter. ”What’s your odor sir?” sabi nung waiter kay Dodong. ”Do you have porkshop?” tanong ni Dodong. ”Yes sir” sabi nito. “Our porkshop with a resistance to the teeth of boast of our chef. Domestic careful selection of pork with little fat of female liking is used. The exquisite cooking which repeated trial and error and was completed. It also has healthy vegetables with salad feeling fully,” dagdag pa niya.
“And you mam?” sabay tingin naman sa akin. Hmmm.. Mukhang masarap yung porkshop. Pero I’m cutting down on my carbon kaya pinigilan ko. ”I’ll just have water, thanks. Liquidate diet ako eh,” sagot ko.
Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya si Dodong manood ng sine. Teka teka, this is going too far. Besides, it’s a long, long, way to run. ”Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa na ako, si Jay. As a mother of fact, I’m happily married” pagmamalaki ko. ”Di na pwede yung tulad ng dati. Sorry pero I didn’t expect you still have more feelings than I expected. I don’t want you getting the way. Past is fast. Therefore, cause and defect.” dagdag ko pa. Tumahimik sya. Parang may language barrel na namagitan sa amin. The seconds that passed seemed like fraternity. Di nagla-on, nagsalita na rin sya.
“I don’t care less!” sigaw ni Dodong.
Shocks, give me a brake! The nerd ng taong ito para sigawan ako! To think it’s his other woman that caused our separation to part. Kinabahan na ako. I felt speedbumps all over my body and was having panic attach. Tinalikuran ko siya at nagmadali akong lumakad palayo. Pero sumunod pa rin siya like a monkey on my butt. Hanggang sa makakita ako ng security guard. Biglang nawala si Dodong. ”Excuse me kuya, pwedeng magtanong?” sabi ko sa mamang guard. ”Of course miss, I can help you with my pleasure.” sagot niya. ”Saan po ba ang exit? Could you point me to the right erection? I got lost in my eyes.” ”Diretso lang.”sabi niya. “Then turn right anytime with care.” ”Thanks for your corporation” sabi ko. Buti na lang nandun si kuya. Pero saglit lang, I smell something peachy. As I turned, nakita ko na namang nakasunod si Dodong! Delaying static lang pala kanina ang pag-disappear nya. ”Nyahahaha! You can run but you can hide, Inday. No matter where you go, there you are!” pananakot nya.
Oh no, is this the end? This is too much, I feel degradable. My world started falling afar. Then suddenly, Jay come from behind! Dodong was caught to the act! In the matter of minute, it’s all over. I’m out of arm’s way. ”Thanks Jay, my love. But how did you.?” bago pa man ako matapos, sabi niya ”I was in the neighborhood. Fans din ako ni Angel eh. I heard you shout but at first I didn’t give it a thought. Pero nang makita ko kayong magkahawak ng holding hands, then I give it a thought. I know something is a missed.”
Prom then on, Dodong did not brother me again. In fact, he didn’t even sister me. As in platonic at wala na talaga. Pero kami ni Jay, heto, shoot sailing pa rin ang relationship. Lalo pa ngayon, open na kami sa isa’t isa at walang exhibitions.
I feel I’m on cloud line.
Same to you,
SOMETIMES when you feel
that the world is not a good place to be
with all its complicated problems
and all your own problems
all mixed up with everyone else’s,
we are reminded that
there is always joy in the simplest of things.
That at the end of the day
the only thing that matters is
trusting that there is Someone in charge
who will take care of all our worries
and make everything alright.
CLICK THE VIDEO BELOW
and see what real happiness is all about
(Video’s loading too slow? CLICK>> THIS)
“Whenever I bring clouds over the earth
and a rainbow appears in the clouds,
I will remember my covenant between me and you
and all living creatures of every kind.
Never again will the waters become
a flood to destroy all life.”
by aLjI– IF you’re wondering who can turn comic books into movies faster than a speeding bullet, I’ll say the Filipinos can.
The ‘50s up to the ‘70s seemed quite an exciting period in Philippine cinema based on these posters and “komiks” both bloggers have posted on their sites– proof that back in the day when copyright infringement was more blurry than it is today; Philippine cinema and the Komikbook industry had quite an impressive output of plagiarized superheroes.
Here are some samples in a blog we’ll call:
WHO CAME FIRST…?
1. “IRON MAN: The Movie “or “CAPTAIN BARBELL Kontra CAPTAIN BAKAL” Da Pelikula?!
Iron Man first appeared in Tales of Suspense, published by Marvel Comics in 1963.
“Iron Man: The Movie” starring Robert Downey, Jr was released in 2008 .
“Captain Barbell Kontra Captain Bakal” (obviously, “Captain Bakal” was the Iron Man of the Philippines) starring Willie Sotelo as “Captain Barbell” and Carlos Padilla, Jr. as “Dario” was shown in 1965…
…43 years before Downey’s blockbuster film.
2. ”LITTLE MERMAID” or “DYESEBEL”?!
“Little Mermaid” is an original Hans Christian Anderson tale published in 1837 .
There have been a lot of versions in both films and TV shows. The most famous today is, of course, the Disney cartoon “Little Mermaid” which was shown in 1989.
The Philippine movie version starred Jaime Dela Rosa and Edna Luna as “Dyesebel”, a dead-on copy of the Little Mermaid. It was shown in 1953…
…a full 36 years prior to the famed Disney version.
3. ”BATMAN” or “ALYAS BATMAN AT ROBIN”?!
After the success of Adam West’s “Batman” TV series, they turned it into a full-length film creatively called… “Batman”, and was released in 1966.
The movie follow-up came a bit late via Tim Burton’s … hold your breath…“Batman”, starring Michael Keaton in 1989.
The Philippines had its own movie version featuring Bob Soler and Lou Salvador, Jr. in “Alyas Batman at Robin” and was released in 1965…
…one year before the Adam West-movie and
…24 years before Tim Burton’s.
“Holy cajoney, Batman!”
4. “CATWOMAN” or “PUSSYCAT”?!
Speaking of Batman, one of his arch nemesis or ex-girl friends (depending on which storyline you believe) had a solo production in “Catwoman” with the scorching Halle Berry playing the . But as hot as Halle was, the critics and audiences gave it the cold shoulder and it flopped back in 2004.
Not so with its Philippine version titled “Pussycat”. It starred the equally hot Divina Valencia (of the classic “Divina Valencia, Estella Suarez, nagbu-burles.. song) and was released in 1969…
…35 years before Halle’s unimpressive movie. “Pussy-cat” was a certified hit in ’69 right on that memorable summer of free love and free pussy, if you know what I mean.
5. MR. FANTASTIC in the “FANTASTIC FOUR” or “LASTIKMAN”?!
Marvel superhero Reed Richards (a.k.a “Mr. Fantastic”) of the Fantastic Four is an exact copy of DC Comic’s “Plastic Man”. Why do I say this? Well, just look:
The thing is Plastic Man came out in the comics on August 1941, while Marvel’s version called Mr. Fantastic appeared 20 years after on November 1961.
Anyway, Mr. Fantastic was brought to the movie screens only in 2005 in “Fantastic Four” played by Ioan Gruffudd. Maybe because the technology to show Mr. Fantastic’s power to extend various parts of his body (hmmm…?) were not available yet, the Hollywood version was a bit late.
Movie special effects were not a problem in the Philippines back in 1965 when Von Serna (Snooky’s dad!) appeared as “Lastik Man”—Yes! pLastic Man, without the “P”– 40 years before Hollywood’s Mr. Fantastic.
Anak ng P , talaga!
If you think that was strange, how about this mash-up:
6. “THE SPIRIT” + THE QUESTION + MR. A
+ ROSARCH of the “Watchmen” + “SPIDERMAN”
= “CAPTAIN GAGAMBA”?!
The Spirit created by the great Will Eisner first appeared as a newspaper insert in 1940.
Hollywood turned it into a movie in 2008, written and directed by another great artist: Frank Miller (300 and Sin City).
The Question (below) and Mr. A (below The Question) appeared in 1967 although in different comicbooks: The Question in Blue Beetle #1 while Mr. A in Witzend # 3.
These comic book heroes, both created by Steve Ditko, clearly play up the Q and A reference: “Question and Answer”. Get it?
Alan Moore created Rorschach (below) for the comic book series The Watchmen in 1986 and admittedly says that Rorschach was based on Ditko’s The Question.
The Watchmen was shown in 2009 to rave reviews (there’s Rorschach in the middle).
Spiderman was the creation of Stan Lee and Steve Ditko (again!) and was first seen on Amazing Fantasy # 15 in August 1962.
Then in 2002, Sam Raimi directed the movie“Spider-Man” starring Tobey Maguire.
And then it got weird-err:
Just a year after Spider-Man’s comic book debut, out comes the movie “Bakas Ng Gagamba”! It featured Bernard Bonnin (Charlene Gonzales-Muhlach’s father) in 1963.
This Pinoy superhero is an obvious combination of The Spirit, The Question, Mr. A (note: the fedora hat) and yes, Spider-Man (place Spidey’s chest on Gagamba’s face and you’ll get the picture).
Now if the US version starring Tobey Maguire had sequels, the Philippine version had more:
Part 2: “PALOS KONTRA GAGAMBA” (1963)
Part 3: “ANG LIHIM NG GAGAMBA” (1963)
Part 4: “GAGAMBA AT SI SCORPIO” (1969)
Spider-Man 4, also known as “Spider-Man Reboot” will be out in theaters on 2012—almost 50 years after “Gagamba at si Scorpio”.
7. “PHANTOM” or “ALYAS PHANTOM”?!
While writing this part, I suddenly noticed the frequent use of the words “Alyas” and “Captain” in most of these old Filipino films. I guess the words “Alyas” and “Captain” it makes it seem like it’s the original without claiming to be the original. Pretty smart, huh?
Anyway, here’s another Alyas-movie– “Alyas Phantom”!
The comic book character the Phantom was created by Lee Falk in 1936.
“Alyas Phantom”, the Filipino film was shown in 1966, a mere 30 years after, starring Bob Soler and Nova Villa (the comedienne) as his leading lady.
It was such a hit, another version came out in 1974 where the Phantom became a transvestite of some sort, with gay icon Vilma Santos as its star called “Phantom Lady”.
The Hollywood version came early this time (thank goodness!) in 1943 with a 15-part movie-serial starring Tom Tyler and Jeanne Bates. But the Phantom-movie everyone remembers today was the one starring Billy Zane in 1996 called “The Phantom”.
You do remember Billy, right?
Stop shaking your head.
8. “SUPERGIRL” or “SUPERGIRL”?!
First of all, Supergirl has never been Superman’s girl friend. She’s actually his cousin. In 1959 Kara Zor-El appeared in Action Comics #252 wearing the same Superman costume after crashing on earth from Planet Krypton.
Fourteen years later, by some Kryptonian miracle, Supergirl appeared in the Philippines as the actress Pinky Montilla in a movie with the same title: “Supergirl” in 1973.
In 1984, 11 years after the Philippine version, Hollywood came up with “Supergirl” starring Helen Slater. According to Wikipedia “It failed to impress critics and audiences”.
Both movies were not as super as they expected.
9. “SUPERMAN the Movie” or “ZOOM, ZOOM, SUPERMAN”?!
The most famous Superman movie version was, of course, the 1978 film “Superman” starring Christopher Reeve. This movie came out 40 years after Superman first appeared inside the pages of Action Comics # 1 created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster in 1938!
If you think Hollywood had one over the quick Filipino filmmakers of the ‘70s, think again.
In 1973, a full five years before Chris Reeve donned the red cape as “Superman” , a Filipino version called “Zoom, Zoom, Superman!” broke all Philippine box-office records existing at that time.
It starred Ariel Ureta (I guess, the top matinee idol that time?) and he had the best directors of Philippine cinema directing this three-in-one Ariel Ureta treat (like, one was not enough): Elwood Perez, Joey Gosiengfiao and National Artist for Cinema Ishmael Bernal.
Can Brian Singer beat Ishma, the National Artist? Guess not.
10. “POPEYE” or “POPEYE ATBP”?!
Proof that Ariel Ureta was quite a box-office draw in the ‘70s, the same producers quickly came up with a follow-up just months after in 1973 called “Popeye Atbp”, directed by the same directors. Talk about striking while the iron is hot.
Popeye is the world’s most famous sailor-man, created by E.C. Segar as a newspaper comic strip in 1919. So, the Philippine movie version was late by about 54 years.
How late was Hollywood this time? About 61 years late!
In 1980, Robert Altman directed Robin Williams in the live-action-sing-along-film Popeye. It was Robin’s first movie and Popeye’s last.
Hollywood didn’t even attempt a sequel.
(by ely m.) WHILE digging into some more email trash that’s been clogging my yahoo account (been doing this for a couple of months now– I’m sure you’ve noticed if you’re a regular “scannedthoughtero”), I came across this classic philosophical chainmail disguised as internet goobledigook. The thing is, this one actually makes a lot of sense.
And having all the time in the world, I Googled for more info about it: about George Carlin mainly, because it was attributed to this late, great standup comic. Turns out, Carlin was not the author of this standup classic. It was actually Larry Miller.
We all know who George Carlin is (yes, he’s the ponytailed ”Rufus” in “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure“).
But who the hell is Larry Miller?
He’s the gay guy from “Princess Diaries 1 and 2“– the one who did the makeover for hottie Anne Hattaway.
So, this blog will help hopefully in setting the record straight: That Larry Miller is THE MAN!
And George Carlin had a totally diferent take on “Ageing”.
Here’s the whole Classic Email:
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids?
If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. ‘How old are you?’
‘I’m four and A HALF!’
You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.
You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
‘How old are you?’
’I'm GONNA be 16!’
You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony.
“You BECOME 21. Yesss!!! “
But then you
Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?
You BECOME 21
You TURN 30
then you’re PUSHING 40.
Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away.
Before you know it,
you REACH 50
and your dreams are gone.
You MAKE it to 60.
You didn’t think you would!
BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You’ve built up so much speed
that you HIT 70!
After that it’s a day-by-day thing;
you HIT Wednesday!
You GET INTO your 80′s
and every day is a complete cycle;
you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn’t end there.
Into the 90s, you start going backwards;
‘I WAS JUST 92.’
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.
‘How old are you?’
‘I’m 100 AND A HALF!’
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
(Here’s the actual video of Larry doing this bit.)
Here’s George Carlin’s:
And here’s the source that definitely prove where the confusion started:
FROM an antique e-mail. Still inspiring. Still very funny.
“Oo, nagpapa-ulan ako ng Uno… baket? Aaanhin ko ba ’yun? ‘Di naman ako yayaman du’n.”
–Sir Atoy Navarro, Hist
Professor habang binubuksan ang isang box ng colored chalks:
“Ano ba naman ito?!” (sabay hagis sa table ng mga dark colored chalk)
Class: (Tahimik na nagmamasid)
Professor: “Class, sulatan n’yo ang manufacturer ng chalk na ito. Sabihin ninyong tanggalin na ang mga walang kuwentang kulay na ito: Brown, Green at Violet. Alam ba nilang hindi ito nakikita sa board? Convince them!”
Class: (Tahimik at nagulat)
Professor: “Sino man ang magsusulat +.25 sa Final Grade!”
Isang Valentine’s Day:
“Ano ba ‘yan? Students ba kayo ng UP? Bakit ang bababa ng scores ninyo? Siguro wala kayong date ngayong Valentine’s kaya ganito kayo? Losers!!! When I was your age, I had a date. Hindi ba naapektuhan ng UP Fair euphoria ang grades ninyo? Parang hindi kayo masaya…” (sabay tapon ng quiz papers sa sahig). “I won’t record this. Go and find a date.” (sabay walk out ng classroom)
—Sir Doliente, BA.
Student: “Sir, nagbibigay po ba kayo ng partial points?”
Professor: “Hmmm… if I see partial wisdom.”
Professor to Class:
“I don’t give surprise long exams. All exams are announced. Kaya today I’m announcing, ‘Class, mag-e-exam tayo! NGAYON NA!’”
“Don’t take the Bar Exam and yourselves too seriously. Baka mabalitaan na lang naming, nag-o-oral summation kayo sa Luneta. O lumulutang-lutang sa Pasig River. Enjoy yourselves. Relax. At habang nag-re-relax kayo, read at least 15 hours a day. Mag-relax ka habang nag-babasa. Mag-relax ka habang nagme-memorize.”
“’Pag nananaba ka sa oras ng exams, ibig sabihin hindi ka papasa.”
“Kahit magpakamatay ka pa, ‘di mo masasagot ‘yang problem set na ‘yan—dahil wala ‘yang sagot. Hahahaha!”
“Mamatay na ang mangopya… at ang hindi maka-100—BOBO!”
Professor habang umuulan sa labas during a hard final exam:
“Ang lakas ng ulan. Ayos ‘yan, at least hindi halata ‘pag umiiyak.”
Commenting on a thesis of a Senior Student:
“’Yang thesis mo… mamamatay ka! Mamamatay ka!!!”
–Dr. Llanes, UPM
Professor: “O, meron na ba sa inyong nakapunta sa pinakabagong Mall ng Metro Manila?”
Professor: “Anoooo?! Puro na lang ba kayo aral? Aral lang kayo nang aral—wala kayong kapupuntahan sa kaaaral n’yo!”
In a class with one meeting left in the Term:
“Okay class, next week, we start the lecture proper.”
Professor to Student:
“Running ka ba for Summa?—Mapapagod ka lang.”
Professor to Grad Student during a Thesis Defense: “Are you familiar with the book written by (name of the author)?”
Grad Student (kinakabahan): “Y-yes, Sir.”
Professor: “Okay. Ano ang kulay ng cover ng book na ‘yun?”
ON LOUSY STUDENTS
“Anong molars? You don’t say molars, because it’s an adjective! Do you say ‘Beautifuls’?”
–Ma’am Liao commenting on a student’s grammar
Professor to a freshman who would not stand up during recitation:
“Stand up, Miss — so that we might see the contours of your body. (Student stands) … Wow! Rape-able!”
“Sa mga taga-UP lang ako bilib, eh. Papasok sila sa Law School na hindi disoriented. Bilib ako sa study habits ng mga batang iyan. Some of them look like they eat kamote three times a day. Pero ang utak nila, hindi ututin!”
Professor to a noisy class:
“Bakit napakasaya ng klase n’yo?! Pwede bang maging sad naman kayo? 5 minutes of sadness—starting right now!”
Professor to a class na ayaw mag-recite:
“Wag kayong mahiya. You have nothing to lose but your face!”
“It’s okay to smoke in my class. As long as you don’t breathe it out.”
–Dr. Obsioma, Biodiversity
Professor to a student with braces:
“Ayan, hindi ka na makasagot. ‘Yung bakal sa ipin mo, naapektuhan na ‘yung pagsasalita mo.”
–Sir Tiamson, Span 11
After the first hour of a three hour lecture on Taxonomy:
“Class, gising pa ba kayo? Mukhang inaantok na kayo, ah. I understand… pati nga ako, inaantok na rin.”
Professor after giving a joke related to his lecture topic:
“’Yung mga hindi natawa sa joke ko, REPEATERS kayo ano? Narinig n’yo na kasi ‘yang joke na ‘yan. Sorry kayo. ‘Yan lang ang joke ko.”
ON BEING HUMAN
“The human body is 70% water. Kaya wala kayong kasaysayan lahat. ‘Pag may kaaway ka, sabihin mo sa kanya, TUBIG KA LANG!”
– Dr. Recio
“Try everything once, except incest.”
–Sir U Eliserio during a Creative Writing Class
“Nasa bandang gilid ang fallopian tube. Kaya kung gusto ninyong magka-anak ng asawa ninyo, dapat nakatagilid kayo habang gumagawa.”
–Ma’am Maggie, Zoo 10
“Yes, class—I AM GAY! I’m so gay I could show you my penis because it is but an accessory to my body.”
–Jean Navera, spcm 1
“Look at me. I’m 43 years old pero ang lakas-lakas ko pa. Kung walang gulay kakain ako ng damo. Kung walang tubig, mag-iipon na lang ako ng laway.”
“Birds of the same feather, FLOCK together… don’t forget the ‘L’”.
First day of Classes:
“Kung may boyfriend o girlfriend kayo na hindi taga-UP, hiwalayan n’yo na ngayon pa lang. Walang kapupuntahan ‘yang relasyon n’yo. Dahil hindi kayo magkakaintindihan. ‘Tapos ‘yung mga anak n’yo, magiging bobo. Gusto n’yo ba ‘yun?”
“And girls, ‘wag kayong kukuha ng boyfriend diro sa UP. Pare-pareho tayong mahirap dito. 80% of the child’s intelligence comes from the mother naman, eh. And guys, ‘wag kayong kukuha ng bobong babae. Kahit matalino kayo, magiging bobo pa rin ang mga anak n’yo.”
Professor : “Many people believe that we psychology professors can read minds… (Silence). Actually, we can.
Students: “Weh… sample…
Professor: “Right now, you think I’m bluffin.”
–Ma’am Chei Billedo, Psych
“Nu’ng freshie ako, atheist ako. Pero ‘pag nasa bahay, nagro-rosary kami ng nanay ko. Eh, kung magalit sa ‘kin ‘yun.”
–Socio 11 Professor
“Class, gusto ko kayong i-train na mag-English. So, when you’re here in my class, magsalita kayo ng English. Ako lang ang exempted dahil matanda na ako, at ako ang teacher!”
Prof to a student asking if he can sit in:
“We only accept members of a certain minority group in this class. For example, gays are part of a minority group. Bakla ka ba? If you admit that you are, then I’ll let you sit in.”
–Prof. “Hail to the Chair”
“The more wisdom you obtain, the more you should shut your mouth. This is because the more you learn, the more you realize that there are even more things that you do not know. The true mark of an idiot is a loudmouth. The true mark of a wise man is humility.”
–PI100. Puta, Best Prof sa CAL
Professor commenting on other Universities:
“Class, kaya ang mahal ng bayad sa mga professors sa ibang school kasi ang bobobo ng mga estudyante du’n. I used to teach in XXXXX at lumuluha talaga ako ng dugo bago maintindihan ng mga students ‘yung mga sinasabi ko. Ang mahal nga ng bayad, magkakasakit ka naman sa panga sa kauulit ng lessons. ‘Wag na lang. Dito na lang ako sa UP, et least, nagkakaintindihan tayo, ‘di ba?”
Student: “Sir, pwede po bang maki-sit in ‘yung friends ko?”
Professor: “From what school are they?”
Student: “St. Scho po.”
Professor: “Go ahead. So they’ll realize what they’re missing.”
“Class, Chinatown is not in China. And Ateneo De Manila University is not… a university.”
–Prof name withheld upon request
“Si Mirriam, crush ko ‘yun dati. Muntikan na kaming maging kami. Kaso nasiraan siya ng ulo kaya ‘yun iba ang napangasawa ko.”
–Old UP Prof.
“Bilib ka kay Alan Peter Cayetano? Eh, ang bababa ng grades nu’n?!
–Ex-Prof ni Alan
“When you graduate, then you begin to live!”
–Dr. Jimenez, Psych 118
“To tell you the truth, I don’t much. I only know enough to teach my classes.”
–UP Socio Prof