“Age” by Larry Miller
(by ely m.) WHILE digging into some more email trash that’s been clogging my yahoo account (been doing this for a couple of months now– I’m sure you’ve noticed if you’re a regular “scannedthoughtero”), I came across this classic philosophical chainmail disguised as internet goobledigook. The thing is, this one actually makes a lot of sense.
And having all the time in the world, I Googled for more info about it: about George Carlin mainly, because it was attributed to this late, great standup comic. Turns out, Carlin was not the author of this standup classic. It was actually Larry Miller.
We all know who George Carlin is (yes, he’s the ponytailed “Rufus” in “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure“).
But who the hell is Larry Miller?
He’s the gay guy from “Princess Diaries 1 and 2“– the one who did the makeover for hottie Anne Hattaway.
So, this blog will help hopefully in setting the record straight: That Larry Miller is THE MAN!
And George Carlin had a totally diferent take on “Ageing”.
Here’s the whole Classic Email:
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids?
If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. ‘How old are you?’
‘I’m four and A HALF!’
You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.
You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
‘How old are you?’
‘I’m GONNA be 16!’
You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony.
“You BECOME 21. Yesss!!! “
But then you
Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?
You BECOME 21
You TURN 30
then you’re PUSHING 40.
Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away.
Before you know it,
you REACH 50
and your dreams are gone.
You MAKE it to 60.
You didn’t think you would!
BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You’ve built up so much speed
that you HIT 70!
After that it’s a day-by-day thing;
you HIT Wednesday!
You GET INTO your 80’s
and every day is a complete cycle;
you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn’t end there.
Into the 90s, you start going backwards;
‘I WAS JUST 92.’
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.
‘How old are you?’
‘I’m 100 AND A HALF!’
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
(Here’s the actual video of Larry doing this bit.)
Here’s George Carlin’s:
And here’s the source that definitely prove where the confusion started: