Where is Pinoy Pride? I’ll tell you where…

SOMEONE named Tess Underwood uploaded a question in “Yahoo! Answers” that’s very demeaning to Filipinos. Here’s a copy:

Here’s the actual page: CLICK THIS.

The problem with this entry is that if you Google “Pinoy Pride”, it comes out as the second item in the Google search list (right after the Pinoy Pride Network site).

This negative opinion has become the second reference material for Pinoy Pride searches on line.

Which is quite unfair to all Filipinos and the Philippines.

I got so pissed, I wanted to give my Yahoo answer but the page has closed.

Tess has accepted and gave a high rating to an answer that affirms her distorted beliefs (you can see it there).

So, I’ve decided to post my answer, my scanned thoughts, here.

I am proud to be a Filipino and I will try to answer ALL her opinions one by one to enlighten her on what being a Filipino is really about:

Opinion 1: Filipinos always brag to be part Chinese, part American, part Dutch, part Korean, part Japanese, part Spanish. I have yet to meet one that says they are proud to be….Filipino.

My answer: If you know about the rich history of the Filipinos, you would not even ask this question. Filipinos are part African, Indonesian, Malaysian, Chinese, Spanish, American, Japanese, Arab, Korean, Australian and European.

The original “Filipinos” were the dark-skinned Negritos who walked all the way from Africa when the Pangaea continent still existed (we still have some of these ethnic Filipinos in Subic; you also see them in Manila during Christmas). Next to come were the Indones (from Indonesia) who brought their culture and language to our land, that’s why we have a lot of similar customs and traditions with them (our ancient handwriting, a lot of Filipino words, the the musical instruments angklung and gamelan). Last were the Malays (from Malaysia) who brought the Muslim religion to Southern Philippines. Later the Chinese traders came, who passed in our islands to trade with the Indones and Malays. When we were colonized by Spain, they gave our islands the collective name “Islas Filipinas” and the island natives were called “Filipino” after King Philip of Spain. That’s why Rizal—who is Filipino—is also half-Chinese.

So, even before the Spaniards came in the 1500s, we have been a rich mixture of different races; that’s what makes us different. That’s why we are also one of the most beautiful races in the world. That’s why the Westerners, the Arabs and other Asian countries fall in love with our Pinay beauties, court them and later marry them for keeps. That’s also why we have the Fil-American-Arab-European-Korean-Japanese children who are all products of post WW II inter-racial marriages brought about by war/ tourism/business/jobs abroad.

Remember, these are very open-minded foreigners who have chosen to marry Pinays against the accepted norms of their own societies. So, it’s a sacrifice for both husband and wife; it’s also a bit confusing for us, the products of these unions. However,  we have to be proud of this fact—that being Filipino is being part of another race– that we were able to survive all those challenges in our history to produce a racial breed that is culturally, beautifully, intellectually, creatively mixed and diverse.

Only Nazis would strictly tolerate a society of pure breeds. And you should know how that idea ended.

Read up:  http://philippines-timeline.com/spanish.htm

Opinion 2: 100% of the ‘famous Filipino’ actors and models, are only 1/4th Filipino.

My answer: This is a baseless generalization. You need to give specific names of these “famous Filipinos” before you insinuate that your statements are factual. What is true in the context of Philippine show business today is that a lot of these “famous actors and models” use the term Filipino because they are trying to work in the Philippines as actors and models or would want to get a fan base in the Philippines. If they present themselves as foreigners, they might not get hired, because by then the Department of Foreign Affairs would require them a work permit which will cost them and their employers a lot of money. Certainly the common Pinoy Fan wouldn’t want to idolize them for being too-Hollywood. So, it’s not about Pinoy Pride; it’s more about show-Business. I guess if you think they don’t deserve to be called Filipinos, the best way for you to handle your personal baggage against them is to boycott whatever products or programmes they endorse. Otherwise just let them earn a living.

Here’s a better list of certified “famous Filipino” celebrities:

http://www.famousfilipino.com/content/view/263/138/

Opinion 3: All the products in the Philippines say “export quality”. That means it’s so good, it’s good for foreigners. Shouldn’t it say ‘Pinoy quality’?

My answer: If you are going to talk about products from the Philippines from a business perspective and you would want to successfully market that product internationally, the term “export quality” would be the best description. You need to use words that everybody in the world would understand so that they would buy your product. Also remember, most of these exports are produced and marketed in a free market system that involves plenty of sharing of ideas, raw materials and investments from our partner countries, so why should Pinoys take all the credit? You should think globally if you’re selling to a global market.

From  http://www.philexport.ph/philippines-economy

“The Philippines exports continue with its upward trend throughout 2012. While US and Japan have remained the country’s two largest export markets, China and ASEAN countries have grown in importance. Other key markets include Hong Kong, Germany, Netherlands, South Korea, France and India.”

Opinion 4: Almost all of the products have Japanese, Chinese, English, or Korean writing. Giving the impression that these products are exported. With the exception of San Miguel products, Philippines products ARE NOT exported. It is mere faux Japanese, and faux Chinese.

My answer: If these are “faux Japanese and faux Chinese”, then the manufacturers have just wasted a large amount of their printing budget. Do you think any businessman would spend for something that will not have any purpose? In advertising, the more text and colour you put in the label design the more production cost you incur. I think you should be happy when you see foreign words in the items you consume because it means you have been being given an opportunity to taste what the rest of the world are having. These are authentic products for export—usually they are production overruns (sobra). So, some of them end up in the local markets even if they’re not supposed to.

From http://www.foodexport.org/Resources/CountryProfileDetail.cfm?ItemNumber=1030

“The Philippines is fast becoming a regional staging area for foreign food manufacturers that seek to penetrate the lucrative East and South East Asian market for processed products. This country has been identified for the ability of its workforce to manufacture high quality, differentiated or niche-market, and high valued products using both domestic and duty-free imported raw materials.”

Opinion 5: Courtship, Filipino style: If Filipinos had pride, then why do the girls here scream and beg to be with any foreigner who happens to walk down the street? Why does everyone here offer their niece, daughter, sister, grand daughter, etc. for marriage to a total stranger, so long as he is foreign? Even if the girl is a teenager, and the foreigner is a 200 kilo, 73 year old in a wheelchair? Why do people offer their children for sex, as young as 5?

My answer: If you’re talking about prostitution and sex trade, why are you focussing only on Filipinos? This “system” is legal in 50% of all countries in the world. It is even illegal in the Philippines! Do not generalize that everyone in the Philippines does it. If you’re talking about our 101,833,938 Filipino citizens nationwide, how much of that number do you think “scream and beg to be with any foreigner who happens to walk down the street”?

Prostitution—the oldest profession in the world– is a common story in all countries where poverty is very high and strict traditions are followed. It’s even worst in Eastern Europe (with their economy going to the dumps). It’s been happening in the Arab world, Africa, India, Japan and China for centuries (with their arranged marriages to privileged men in exchange for land and cattle). Even the crack addicts in the United States are doing the same thing (most of the time they don’t even get married—they just sell sex, later to buy drugs). It’s not the country, its poverty. And there are a lot of poor people all over the world, not only in the Philippines, if no one has told you yet.

Read up:

http://prostitution.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=000772#afghanistan

Opinion 6: If they have pride, then why do they charge dishonest prices at the wet market?

My answer: It’s not dishonest. It’s called price mark-ups. In the business of selling, you need capital to buy or create your product. To be able to make a profit out of that product you need to sell it at a price that is more than your capital. Some prices are intentionally high at wet markets because it’s also a common practice to haggle with the customer to come up with an acceptable price for both the vendor and the buyer. And yes, like all your previous assumptions, it does not only happen in the Philippines. If you think, its way overpriced, then go to the nearest police station or barangay hall or a DTI Office and have the vendor arrested.

Watch one man’s experience in Bali, INDONESIA:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLTfyjUk3mQ

Opinion 7: Where is the pride, when, if a foreigner goes out in public, everyone smiles, points, stares, and shouts at them. Tries to pawn off stolen goods, or over-priced goods. Or yells rude, inappropriate things?

My answer: Clearly you’ve never been to New York City, USA where illegal vendors, who are also irritating to the public is a big problem:

Click this source>> http://www.dnainfo.com/new-york/20120608/soho/city-should-overhaul-complex-street-vendor-laws-police-say

Or INDIA, where everyone in the market place “smiles, points, stares, and shouts…tries to pawn off stolen goods, or over-priced goods. Or yells rude, inappropriate things”.

Click this proof >> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDBoyX17QBM

Again—Not only in the Philippines!!!

Opinion 8: Finally, If the Philippine is so great, then why is it everyone’s dream to get out, and move to another country? The Philippines is a tiny nation, yet 50,000, FIFTY THOUSAND, migrate to the USA alone, PER YEAR. That’s just one nation. Let alone Australia, UK, Japan, etc. 2,500 Filipinos migrate out of their country-PER DAY. That’s over a MILLION per yer. If the Philippines is the best place on Earth, why leave?

My answer: Where did you get this stupid information? 50,000 people a year?! How? The Philippines is not even on the global list of countries with the highest migration rate. In Qatar, only 10% of their citizens are staying in their country to work. 90% of the Qataris are staying out of their country. Does that mean they don’t like being in their country?

Click this source:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_net_migration_rate

Do you know why were not on the list? It’s actually very hard for Filipinos to leave the country with all the paperwork alone (legal or otherwise), not to mention the enormous cost.  Migrating is very expensive. And do you know how hard it is for Filipinos to change citizenship abroad? If you speak to all the Filipinos who are now abroad, if given a choice, they would rather come back and die old in the Philippines. But why do the eager ones leave? It’s because we get higher salaries abroad. Why, because we Filipinos have a highly regarded international reputation as very hardworking, loyal and intelligent. We leave to work and get paid well, but surely we will be back home again.

Opinion 9: There. Only a few things to look at. I’m not racist, nor political. I just think it would be better if Filipinos said “okay, this place sucks, but…..”. Instead of making it seem like the paradise that it’s not.

I am really quite curious about this. ‘Pinoy Pride’ is something in-yo-face every day here, but where is it REALLY? Any constructive feedback? Salamat po!

My answer: If indeed you are Filipino (as you claim to be), and you love your country (as you seem to insinuate) then you should be proud of your country and your countrymen. We should always say WE ARE PROUD OF THE PHILIPPINES because in the end, even if you say “it sucks” it’s the only country we have. It’s the only home for the Filipinos. It’s the only paradise for Proud Filipinos.

Truth be told, you will never feel totally accepted anywhere else in the world except in your own country. You will never be treated as an equal by another race in their own country. Ask anyone who have been abroad.

Sad to say– you are racist, political and very ignorant.

But it’s not too late.

I hope I have helped you change your mind set about your country and your countrymen.

If I haven’t, then shame on you.

And everyone else who agree with you.
MABUHAY ANG PILIPINAS!

MABUHAY ANG MGA PILIPINO!

(aLJI, June 2012)

Hunyo 15, 2012. Mga Marka: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . KUPAL nation, WTF is GRAMMAR?!. Mag-iwan ng puna.

Capt. Peter Harrison and Edmiston Yacht Club Scam Letters

LETTER NO. 1

Dear POTENTIAL VICTIM,

My name is Capt. Peter Harrison, from United Kingdom. I work with Edmiston Yachting Company in United Kingdom. I came across your profile on Facebook and decided to mail to ask if you’ll be interested in a job. We are a privately owned yachting company, and the destination is always from Essex London to Ireland, Portsmouth and North-East Europe. Accommodation will be provided by the company.

Hope to hear from you if you are intrested.

Reply to: captpeterharrison@yahoo.com

Also, we want to use this medium to inform you that other vacancies are available, so therefore do let us know if you have an interest in working in any of the areas in which Edmiston Yachting Company Job Offers. Below are the Vacancies:

*Engineer *Captain *Stew work *Mate Engineer *Deckhand *First Mate *Stewardess *Chef *Steward *Chef Stew *Cook Stew *Stewardess *Masseuse *2nd Engineer *Waiter *Customer Care Representatives *Guest Room Attendants *Cleaners *Estate-managers *Head Housekeepers *Gardeners *Housekeepers *House-managers *Maternity Nurse *Lady’s Maids *Butlers *Cooks/Chefs *Mother’s Help *Caretakers *Nannies *Chauffeurs *Tutors *Private Bodyguards *Governess

Job Salary: Depending on your roll of specialization, Salary Ranging from 4, 500.00 GBP to 8, 500.00 GBP or negotiable and We shall take care of your Transportation expenses, Accommodation, feeding and a month training on arrival.

If you are interested to work with us in any position, please kindly send your resume to our via e-mail (captpeterharrison.yahoo.com) immediately with your personal details including your roll of profession/Skill of Specialization.

Regards

Capt. Peter Harrison 

(POTENTIAL VICTIM SENDS HIS/HER RESUME)

LETTER NO. 2

Dear POTENTIAL VICTIM,
We appreciate your interest in working with us and we have open an application file with reference number XXXX/UK/XXX/SEA/XXXX. We have gone through your CV and We found the post of  XXXXXXX  for you with salary amount of X,XXX GB Pounds per month.The destination is always from  London, France,Ireland,Belgium,Norway,Wales and USA.

Benefit:
The company will provide free accommodation ,Insurance (NIN) ,Flight Ticket,Tax Free and many more benefit you will see in your Appointment Letter.

Working Schedule:
Working Days & time: Monday to Friday: 8:00 AM – 6:00PM (GMT)

Saturday & Sunday:  10:00 Am – 4:00 PM (GMT)

Shift Time: Morning and Night.

Contract Period: 2 Years contract and it can be extended if only you wish to remain with our company

Vacation : 3 Month Vacation Interval for you to visit your love ones and family back home

As a notice of acceptance of job offer , we shall send you appointment and invitation letter for you to sign and return the sign copy back to us for record purpose . so therefore kindly let us know if you are satisfy with the salary rate above in order for us to proceed further.

We await to hear from you ASAP. 
Regards
Capt Peter Harrison

(POTENTIAL VICTIM SENDS A REPLY LETTER

SAYING HE/SHE IS MORE THAN SATISFIED WITH THE OFFER)

LETTER NO. 3

Dear POTENTIAL VICTIM,
 We want to use this opportunity in congratulating you in advance for accepting to join our company. How soon do you want to come or can you make it down here within the next two week as we are urgently in need of you to arrive here as soon as possible .If you know it is possible for you to arrive here within the next two weeks , kindly find attached to this mail job interview questionnaire for you to fill and submit back to us so that it will speed up the process of your appointment letter.

We advice you to keep record of your application reference number and we hope you are not attached to any company presently so that you will focus on your job application as we are highly  in need of you to arrive here soon, if not kindly let us know now before you sign any contract agreement with us.If yes we suggest that you start writing your resignation now to whom ever you are working for, so that you can pay more attention to your new job ,if only you are really serious about this job offer..

*Full Name:
*Present Location:
*Nationality
*Date of Birth :
*Phone Number:

We await your immediate response to this mail.
Regards 
Capt Peter Harrison

(POTENTIAL VICTIM ANSWERS THE JOB INTERVIEW FORM AND SENDS IT BACK. PREPARES HIS/HER RESIGNATION LETTER)

4th LETTER

Dear  POTENTIAL VICTIM,
 Attached to this mail is your appointment letter , you are to carefully go through this appointment letter and make sure you have a thorough understanding of the terms and conditions contained therein because your signing it translates to your acceptance of the terms and condition contained therein and they will be binding on you throughout your contract stay with us . You are to sign the appointment by printing out only the last page of the appointment document, then write your signature and date at the appropriate spaces provided and send back to us via email for record purpose.

Since you are convince that you will arrive here within 2 week from now..we dont need to delay much time as your service is highly needed ..so therefore after receiving the Sign appointment letter , we shall proceed with the preparation of your traveling document. Please kindly inform us of the date you want us to fix on your flight ticket.

Congratulations on your success
Regards
Capt. Peter Harrison

(POTENTIAL VICTIM RECEIVES THIS LETTER.) 

(SIGNS THE APPOINTMENT LETTER. STARTS PACKING HIS/HER BAGS)

5th LETTER

Dear POTENTIAL VICTIM,
  We have received your signed appointment letter .We have recorded the document to your application file number of XXXX/UK/XXX/SEA/XXXX. So therefore to proceed further , attached to this mail is your Invitation Letter. We were at the Airport today to make arrangement for the booking of your flight ticket, but they did not allow us because they were requesting for your Valid U.K Visa Number (Traveling Document) and also the nearest airport name close to your location.so therefore you are require to forward a copy of the invitation to the British Embassy for the processing of your traveling document. This is very important because without the document , they will not allow you to pass the boarder and gain entry to work and live in United Kingdom . Remember that we are offering you a contract of 2 years , so remember to inform them as well. Follow our instruction carefully and we assure you that they will grant you ,your Traveling Document.

below is the details of Immigration Office .

UNITED KINGDOM IMMIGRATION SERVICES
E-Mail:   visa.immigration@consultant.com
Contact Person: Mr Gordon F. Rutherford
Designation: HEAD OF VISA/PERMITS OPERATIONS.

Kindly contact the above office via email (visa.immigration@consultant.com) and let them know that you’ve been offered a job from Capt. Peter Harrison.Kindly explain to them that should assist you in processing your Traveling Document (UK Visa) and make sure you do this as soon as you receive this mail so that it will be done before end of this week in order for you to depart and arrive here as soon as you have the complete traveling document deliver to you.

Update us with the process between you and the British Embassy so that we can also follow along as to the date your traveling document will be ready so that we can book for your flight ticket and please don’t forget to provide us with the nearest airport name close to your location.

Congratulations on your success.
Regards
Capt. Peter Harrison

 POTENTIAL VICTIM GETS ADVICE TO GOOGLE FOR SOME INFO ABOUT THE COMPANY
 
 AND FINDS THESE:
 
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110204065514AA741im

http://jobs.classifieds1000.com/United_Kingdom/Hospitality_Jobs/40495-Edmiston_Yacht_Hotel_Job_Offer

http://www.ecademy.com/module.php?mod=club&t=955949

http://www.workonaboat.com/boatcrew/how-avoid-yacht-crew-scammers-275.html

 

BUMMER.

 

How can you determine if a job offer is legitimate?–  by Lee Gallacher:

1. First, look for misspellings and bad grammar in the body of their email.

2. If a passport agency or recruitment agency has a yahoo, googlemail, consult.com (in this instance) and not a dedicated mail server, it is most likely a scam.

3. Do not scan and email your passport, personal data or passport photos. Demand a physical address with offer of FedEx the requested information. Most likely, they will request you to scam and email your data. And if a physical address is proffered, match it to the IP location to insure it is a match.

5. Never EVER send money to an agency. If a company asks for “processing fees, document fees;” it is a scam. These scam artists like to use Western Union, which is a tip-off.

6. When on a public forum, NEVER publish your email address.

7. If there is a request to click on a link, first, run your cursor over the link. A small window will show the actual link. In a scam, the address in the link does not match the link in the body of the email; another sign of scam. Opening such a link may infect your computer with a virus, spybot or Trojan horse.

The proliferation of identity and monetary theft is very real on the internet.  Be cautious when replying to job offers.

POTENTIAL VICTIM WRITES A BLOG ABOUT IT. 

 YOU’VE JUST READ IT.

Marso 2, 2011. Mga Marka: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . KUPAL nation. 2 mga puna.

LOVE LETTER

Dear Koya,

IT was jazz an ordinary day. The skies were clear, the birds were chipping. Ang ganda-ganda ng araw! Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos ko lang mamili ng groceries. Timing naman nasa foodcore si Angel Locsin, nagpro-provoke ng movie nya. Grabe, andaming fans, pull-packed talaga! Dahil fans nya rin ako, nakipila na rin ako. Then suddenly, out of the loo, may bumulong sa akin ng :

 “Indaaayyyyy….”

 Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound. Who can it be now? “Dodong!” sigaw ko. Napalakas yata voice ko. Kasi the other fans turned their backs to their behind at napatingin sa amin. Sabi ko “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be loud and proud.” Hinawakan na lang ni Dodong ang kamay ko at lumayo kami from the crowd. 

 “Kamusta na Inday? Do you come here open?” tanong nya.

“Bihira lang, Dodong. I’m just droppings by. Ethnic ang schedule ko eh” sabi ko. Memories came flushing in my mind. How can I forget to remember Dodong? Siya na may mata ni Piolo, dimple ni Aga, at bigote ni Rex Cortez. He’s every woman’s dreamboat. I was just starting my tour of duty kay ate noon nang unang makilala ko si Dodong. Contraction worker siya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat namin. Naging kami for a while then after that were not an item anymore.

“Tanghali na Inday. What did you say we have lunch together?” tanong ni Dodong. “I don’t mine,” sagot ko.

Sa restaurant, nilapitan kaagad kami ng waiter. “What’s your odor sir?” sabi nung waiter kay Dodong. “Do you have porkshop?” tanong ni Dodong. “Yes sir” sabi nito. “Our porkshop with a resistance to the teeth of boast of our chef. Domestic careful selection of pork with little fat of female liking is used. The exquisite cooking which repeated trial and error and was completed. It also has healthy vegetables with salad feeling fully,” dagdag pa niya.

“And you mam?” sabay tingin naman sa akin. Hmmm.. Mukhang masarap yung porkshop. Pero I’m cutting down on my carbon kaya pinigilan ko. “I’ll just have water, thanks. Liquidate diet ako eh,” sagot ko. 

Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya si Dodong manood ng sine. Teka teka, this is going too far. Besides, it’s a long, long, way to run. “Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa na ako, si Jay. As a mother of fact, I’m happily married” pagmamalaki ko. “Di na pwede yung tulad ng dati. Sorry pero I didn’t expect you still have more feelings than I expected. I don’t want you getting the way. Past is fast. Therefore, cause and defect.” dagdag ko pa. Tumahimik sya. Parang may language barrel na namagitan sa amin. The seconds that passed seemed like fraternity. Di nagla-on, nagsalita na rin sya.

“I don’t care less!” sigaw ni Dodong.

Shocks, give me a brake! The nerd ng taong ito para sigawan ako! To think it’s his other woman that caused our separation to part. Kinabahan na ako. I felt speedbumps all over my body and was having panic attach. Tinalikuran ko siya at nagmadali akong lumakad palayo. Pero sumunod pa rin siya like a monkey on my butt. Hanggang sa makakita ako ng security guard. Biglang nawala si Dodong. “Excuse me kuya, pwedeng magtanong?” sabi ko sa mamang guard. “Of course miss, I can help you with my pleasure.” sagot niya. “Saan po ba ang exit? Could you point me to the right erection? I got lost in my eyes.” “Diretso lang.”sabi niya. “Then turn right anytime with care.” “Thanks for your corporation” sabi ko. Buti na lang nandun si kuya. Pero saglit lang, I smell something peachy. As I turned, nakita ko na namang nakasunod si Dodong! Delaying static lang pala kanina ang pag-disappear nya. “Nyahahaha! You can run but you can hide, Inday. No matter where you go, there you are!” pananakot nya.

Oh no, is this the end? This is too much, I feel degradable. My world started falling afar. Then suddenly, Jay come from behind! Dodong was caught to the act! In the matter of minute, it’s all over. I’m out of arm’s way. “Thanks Jay, my love. But how did you.?” bago pa man ako matapos, sabi niya “I was in the neighborhood. Fans din ako ni Angel eh. I heard you shout but at first I didn’t give it a thought. Pero nang makita ko kayong magkahawak ng holding hands, then I give it a thought. I know something is a missed.” 

Prom then on, Dodong did not brother me again. In fact, he didn’t even sister me. As in platonic at wala na talaga. Pero kami ni Jay, heto, shoot sailing pa rin ang relationship. Lalo pa ngayon, open na kami sa isa’t isa at walang exhibitions.

I feel I’m on cloud line. 

Same to you,

INDY

Setyembre 13, 2010. Mga Marka: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . LOVE or kamunduhan. 6 mga puna.

Ang Sikreto ng MAHABANG BUHAY: USE your 9 HOLES everyday!

(ni Ely M.) MARAMING bagay sa mundo ang nadidiskubre nang hindi sinasadya. Karamihan sa mga discovery na ito ay napakahalaga, gaya ng Gravity, DNA, X-rays, Atoms at ‘yung katotohanang hindi pala planeta ang Pluto.

 Pero may mga bagay ring mahalaga na hindi pa nadidiskubre. Gaya ng sikreto ng mahabang buhay. Wala pa raw nakakaalam kung ano talaga ito. “Raw?”

 Akala lang ‘yun ng mga eksperto.

 Ang totoo, alam ko na kung ano ang sikreto ng mahabang buhay: BUTAS!

 Minsang nagbibisikleta ako, nabutas ang gulong ng aking makalumang sasakyan. May pakong-ligaw na tumusok sa gulong nito at nagulat akong bigla nang pumutok ito nang napakalakas. Tumalon ako mula sa bisikleta at nalaglag sa kanal sa tabi ng kalye.

Akala ko baril.

 Naglakad ako sa kahabaang ng kalyeng ‘yun na basang-basa ang aking white walking shorts kunsaan bakat na bakat ang aking yellow walking briefs. Malalim ‘yung kinahulugan kong kanal at maamoy.

Ano nga ba ang tawag sa malalim at mabahong kanal?

 Ah, imburnal.

 Kahit basa, kailangan kong makakita ng vulcanizing shop. Alangan namang kargahin ko ang bisikleta ko nang limang kilometro pabalik sa amin.

 Makaraan ng mga dalawang kilometro, nakakita rin ako ng vulcanizing shop at ang tumulong sa akin na ayusin ang butas kong gulong ay isang matandang Indonesian.

 Kamukha niya si Gandalf ng Lord of the Rings. Brown Gandalf version nga lang. Paika-ika siya at medyo sakang kung lumakad. Pero kakaiba ang kanyang sigla at lakas. Binuhat niya ang bisikleta ko. Tinanggal niyang mag-isa ang gulong. Nilubog sa isang drum ng tubig para makita ang singaw. Pinatsehan ng goma at rugby ang butas. Binombahan ng hangin. Umupo siya sa bisekleta ko at sinubok niya itong i-pedal. Nagpaikut-ikot siya sa vulcanizing shop sakay ng bisikleta. Nag- bunny hop, wheelie at bar spin. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa eksenang iyon.

 Mukhang beterano ng 1934 X-Games ni Lolo. Kung may X-games na nga noon.

 Habang naghihintay ako ng aking sukli, tinanong ko siya. “Berapa umurmu?” (roughly translated: “How old are you?”) Sagot niya: “Saya seratus-tiga tahun.”

Nalaglag ang basa kong walking shorts sa sagot niyang ‘yun. Hinatak ko agad pataas bago niya makita ang SpongeBob briefs ko. “I em 103 yers old?!” ulit niya.

 Dito nagsimula ang isang “teachable moment” (words ni Oprah). Ipinasa sa akin ni “Gandalf the Brown” sikreto ng kanyang mahabang buhay:

 “Maximize the 9 holes of your body!”

Gamitin mo ang 9 na butas mo sa katawan araw-araw.

 Ito ang payo ni Lolo Antok (tunay niyang pangalan, hindi pala Gandalf), isang Indonesian na 103 years old na ngayon, may-ari ng isang vulcanizing shop 5 kilometro mula sa bahay namin.

 Tahimik akong nagbilang nang marinig ko ang kanyang payo: 2 ang butas ng mata, 2 sa tainga, 2 sa ilong, 1 sa bibig, 1 sa pwet at 1 sa ari.

Siyam nga.

 Nangiti naman si Lolo ng pilyong ngiti.

 Ipinaliwanag niya ang kanyang pilosopiya (ita-translate naming in Taglish):

 “Ang walong butas ng katawan ang pinaka-sensitibo, “ simula niya habang nakatingin sa malayo na parang may mamumuong luha sa kanyang mata.

 “Mata ang sense of sight. Ilong ang sense of smell. Bibig ang sense of taste. At ang pwet at ari naman ang pinaka-sensitive sa touch.

 “Kung nama-maximize mo ito, nama-maximize mo ang kung papaano mabuhay sa araw-araw.

 “Nama-maximize mo ang pagiging tao.

 “Naaamoy mo ang lahat, mabango man o mabaho.

 “Nalalasahan mo ang lahat: tamis, alat, asim, at pakla.

 “Nakikita mo ang lahat: kabutihan at kasamaan, kagandahan at kapangitan.

 “Naririnig mo ang lahat: musika, ingay, tsismis, katotohanan at kasinungalingan.

 “Nararamdaman mo ang sakit, sarap at hapdi ‘pag may papasok o lalabas man sa iyong katawan.

 “‘Yan ang halaga ng pagiging tao. Hindi ka dapat umiwas o magpanggap na hindi nag-e-exist ang mga damdaming ito.

 “‘Yan ang buhay. At kung buhay ka ngang talaga dapat mong maramdaman iyan nang balanse– araw-araw. Balanse dahil lahat ng sobrang paggamit sa mga butas na ito ay nakakasama sa katawan.

 “Kaya ang bibig, kung gagamitin mo sa pagsasalita, dapat gamitin mo rin ang tainga mo sa pakikinig sa sinasabi ng iba. Hindi puwedeng ikaw lang ang salita nang salita.

 “Ang tainga dapat nakikinig sa lahat ng anggulo ng isang idea o usapin. Hindi puwedeng ang pinakikinggan mo lang ay ang mga bagay na gusto mong marinig at paniwalaaan.

 “Ang ilong, kung puro baho lang ang inaamoy mo, masama rin ito sa katawan. Maghanap ka rin ng mga bagay na nagpapabango sa paligid dahil laging meron nito.

 “Ang ari dapat gamitin mo sa tamang paraan at sa tamang panahon. Tandaan mo na hindi lang ito nagbibigay ng sarap, kailangan mo rin ito sa paglalabas ng mga dumi sa katawan. Kaya umihi ka kung naiihi ka. Ilabas mo kung lalabasan ka.

 “Ang pwet ay basically ay para lang sa pag-ebak. Kung gagamitin mo ito sa ibang paraan– do it at your own risk. At huwag ka ring tae nang tae or sex nang sex. Almoranas ang resulta nang sobrang paggamit nito. Mahirap ngang dumurugo ang pwet araw-araw. At mahal ang hemorroidectomy.”

 So, I supposed sa buong 103 years ni Lolo Antok  sa mundong ito, hindi siya nakaranas ng almoranas?

 Ngumiti lang siya sa biro namin. Bumaba sa bisekleta, tumalikod at naglakad nang pa-ika-ika papalayo.

 Napangiti rin ako nang matitigan  ko ang bakas ng dugo sa likuran ng kanyang salawal.

 Napansin ko ring nag-iwan siya ng ilang patak nito sa upuan ng aking bisikleta.

 What a discovery.

 Naintindihan ko na ang ibig niyang sabihin.

Pebrero 15, 2010. Mga Marka: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Pilosopo PHILOSOPHY. 2 mga puna.

GROCERY ng mga BALIW

(ely m.)–  SA pagpasok ng 2010, maraming mga bagay na dapat nang ibahin, alisin at itapon kasama ng 2009.

Sa paborito naming grocery, sinadya kong kausapin ang may-ari upang bigyan siya ng suhestiyon tungkol sa ilang produkto na kanyang ibinebenta sa kanyang tindahan.

Sabi ko sa kanya, mas makakatulong kung iibahin, aalisin at itatapon na niya ang mga ito sa mula sa kanyang grocery dahil hindi ito nakakatulong sa pagpaparami ng kanyang mga kliyente.

Muntik na nga naming i-boycott ang kanyang tindahan dahil marami sa paninda niya ang nakakainsulto.

Ito ang ilan sa mga produktong sa tingin ko’y nararapan na niyang tantanan:

FIESTA POKPOK (breaded chicken)– Binatukan ako ng isa kong kaibigan nang iregalo ko ito sa kanya noong nakaraang Pasko. Nainsulto raw siya. Ano raw ba ang gusto kong palabasin. Nakalimutan ko kasing dati nga pala siyang Japayuki. Hangang ngayong Enero hindi pa kami nag-uusap.

GERY SALUUT (chocolates) — Hindi lang ang kaibigan kong Japayuki ang nagagalit sa akin ngayon, kundi lalo na ang bestfriend kong si Gery. Laking pagkakamali ko nga nang ito ang iniregalo ko sa kanya sa aming exchange gift last December dahil pagkatanggap na pagkatanggap niya nito, nagkaroon bigla ng epidemic ng Bird Flu sa baryo nila. Siya nga ang sinisisi ngayong nagdala ng virus sa liblib na lugar na ‘yun pagkatapos niyang ipamigay ang mga tsokolateng ito sa mga kapitbahay nila.

BIG SHEET (dried sea weeds)– Noong binili ko ito, tuwang-tuwa ako at masarap naman talaga siyang papakin. Nakatatlong pakete yata ako. Laking gulat ko na lang dahil pagkatapos noon, tatlong araw din akong sinumpong ng constipation– hindi nga ako matae. Bakit? Kasi hindi magkasya ang size ng ebs ko papalabas sa butas ng pwet ko. Importante talagang intindihin ang “title” ng bawat kinakain natin.

POO (chips) — Ito ang nakita kong solusyon sa aking constipation problems dahil sa pagkain ng “Big Sheet”. Isang linggo akong kumakain ng “Poo”, mula Pasko hanggang Bagong Taon. Epektib naman ang produktong ito. Mula nang kumain ako ng “Poo”, hindi ko na nga kinakailang umire tuwing ako ay magpu-”poo”. Kusa na siyang lumalabas. Parang bukas na gripo. Advice ko lang matapos ninyong kumain nito, bumili na rin kayo ng maraming Modess at Whisper at mahirap ngang pigilan ang “cycle” ‘pag nagsimula na siyang tumulo.

BAWAL (kainin) — AT LEAST, sa fish section ng grocery naging honest ang may-ari to advice us kung ano ang pwede at “BAWAL” kainin. Nilampasan ko na nga ang area na ito at naghanap na ako ng ibang mabibili.

BULL FROG — Wala kaming mabiling Chicken or Ham noong New Year’s Eve kaya ito na lang ang ti-nurbo namin. Masarap pala kumain ng palaka habang umiinom ng Kopi Luak. What is Kopi Luak? Click THIS.

TRANSMORPHERS 2 — Sino ba naman ang hindi nase-sexy-han kay Megan Fox? Si Megan nga lang ang dahilan kung bakit ko pinanood ang “Transformers”. At inabangan ko talaga ang pagpapalabas ng Transformers 2. Kaya nang makita ko ito, binili ko agad. Kaso, hindi na naman nga ako nagbasa ng label– ibang pelikula pala ito. After wasting two hours watching this piece of sheet waiting for Megan Fox to appear, noon ko lang naintindihan ang ibig sabihin ng tag line na nasa cover ng (pirated) Blu-Ray Disc na ito: “Even the most dedicated Bad Movie fans will have difficulty slogging through this one”. And worst– wala nga si Megan sa pelikula.

AIR CORPSE (t-shirt) — IREREGALO ko sana ito sa kaibigan naming kapitan sa US Air Force. Mabuti na lang may nakapansin sa diyaskeng spelling na itinatak sa t-shirt. Imaginin n’yo na lang, idedestino siya sa Middle East at nakasuot siya ng ganito?

SUMMER VACATION (tour package) — SINO nga ba naman ang hindi matutuwa sa regalong ganito: Isang Summer Vacation Tour Package going to Singapore? Okey na sana, kaso ang sama ng mensahe sa ibaba ng poster. Kayo ba magpapa-schedule pa sa “departed” date na naka-post on this summer trip? Bagay na bagay nga ang package tour na ito kung balak ninyong bilhin at isuot ‘yung AIR CORPSE t-shirt sa itaas. Hahaha!

J.CO’s J.PoPs “Has Born” ! — PAGLABAS namin sa Grocery ng mga Baliw, napadaan kami sa isa J.Co Doughnut Store.  May bago pala silang produkto: ang “baby donuts”. Nang mabasa namin ang tag line sa display shelves nila, naengganyo na kaming bumili. Tamang-tama itong pansalubong sa bagong taon  — dahil 2010 Has Born!

Happy New Year sa lahat ng readers ng scannedthoughts!

Let’s continue scannedthoughting each other in 2010!

Enero 2, 2010. Mga Marka: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . I THOUGHT utot. 10 mga puna.

‘Di ba ‘pag “PHILIPPINE” dapat PILIPINO?

Blog Awards

(visualfrompinoydoglover.com)

(ni Ely M.) ANG katagang “Philippine” sa Tagalog ay katumbas ng katagang “Pilipinas”.

Sa Pilipinas pinakamarami ay ‘yung nagta-Tagalog, kaya ‘pag sinabing–salita ng “Pilipino” – Tagalog ang ibig sabihin niyan.

Kahit sa abroad ‘pag sinabi nilang “Oh, you’re Filipino—you speak TahGAlogk!”

Karamihan din kasi sa mga Pilipino o Filipino (pagsamahin na natin: F/Pilipino) sa pagkakaalala ko, nagkakaintindihan lang sa salitang Tagalog kahit na saan pang probinsiya ang pinanggalingan nila.

Eklat lang kadalasan ‘yung “You know, I speak in English because my Tagalog is not good.”

Ganu’n din ‘yung iba ‘pag nagsusulat:  “You know, I write in English because my Filipino is not good.”

Yeh,  yur PILIPINO is not good, but who kers?

Nag-isip ako—meron bang nagba-Blog in Fee-lee-pee-know “because their F/Pilipino is good”?

Hinanap ko ang pinakamagagaling na Pinoy Blogs sa Internet.

Kaya nag-Google ako. Tinayp ko: Best Pinoy Blogs…or Best Pilipino Blogs… or Best Filipino Blogs

Pinindot ko ‘yang lahat… isa-isa.

(Wala kasi akong magawa.)

Nadismaya ako.

Wala ni isang best site na nagpi-Pilipino.

Wala ni isang best site na nagta-Tagalog.

Ang huli kong pag-asa:

“The 2009 Philippine Blog Awards.”

Ito raw ang listahan ng pinakamagagaling na F/Pilipino Bloggers sa Pilipinas at sa ibang bansa!!!

‘ETO ang listahan ng mga nanalo.

Pinuntahan ko lahat ng site ng winners.

Magagaling silang lahat–  walang argumento riyan.

Ang mas nadismaya ako…

Bukod sa tuyongtintangbolpen.blogspot.com…  (nanalo ng “Best Post”)

Lahat ng winners hindi nagpi-F/Pilipino.

Lahat  ng winners hindi nagta-Tagalog.

Parang may mali.

Sa dinami-rami ng F/Pilipino bloggers na pagpipilian sa bawat sulok ng mundo na may Pinoy

… isa lang ang nakalusot?!

Para sa akin ngayon, si bolpen ang “Best Blogger of the Philippines.”

Tunay na Pilipino na nagta-Tagalog… nagpi-Filipino… nagpi-Pilipino…

(Teka—hindi ko kilala si Tuyong Tinta Ng Bolpen.

Wala rin akong intensyong makipagkilala.

Wala rin akong intensyon sa kontes na ‘to.

Natutuwa lang ako at pinili siya.)

Sana sa susunod—malamang hiling MO rin ito, oo IKAW na nagbabasa ngayon—

 Mas marami sanang blogs na Tagalog – F/ Pilipino ang manalo.

Para mas maging makatotohanan ‘yung katagang “Philippine” na nakasabit sa mga katagang “Blog Awards”

Dahil ang katotohanan…

Pilipino rin lang naman ang TUNAY  na makakaintindi ng mga pinagsusulat natin.

At kahit mag-type pa tayo ng patiwarik habang nagba-blog in English

puro Pinoy pa rin naman ang pabalik-balik na magbabasa ng mga bagay

at kaisipang tungkol sa Pilipinas at pagiging-Pilipino.

Tama ba ‘ko?

Oras na para i-click

ang “Reply”, “Puna” o “Komento”

Oktubre 30, 2009. Mga Marka: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . KUPAL nation. 5 mga puna.

The OFW secret RADYO

radio

(by Ely M.)“BANGUN!” ang malakas na sigaw ng radio namin kaninang umaga. For a second akala ko nagising akong bigla na nasa Pilipinas ako at nakikinig ng DZRH. Kaso ang karugtong, eh: “Apa kabar, Bapak-bapak dan Ibu-ibu?” (roughly translated “How are you, Gentlemen and Ladies?”). Nanlaki ang tenga ko habang nakangiwi. Nasa Indonesia pa rin pala ako. Indonesian radio pa rin ang umaalingawngaw. OFW pa rin ako.

Pareho lang nga pala ang meaning ng “bangun” in Tagalog at Indonesian. So, ‘yun na nga ang ginawa ko; bumangon na ako at na-miss ko na naman ang Pinas.

Habang nagkakape, bigla kong naisip, “Alangan namang walang online radio ang DZRH?

I’m one believer that the Internet was created by the Supreme Being to make His people happy-er. Kaya imposibleng wala, ‘di ba?

Humangos akong nakangiti papunta sa aking laptop at nanginginig na nag-type sa Google ng keyword na “DZRH “.

Among the Top 3 na lumabas, ito ang nakatawag ng atensyon ko:

DRZH– 666 AM Manila – Listen Online <<< CLICK THIS NOW!

May word doon saying “LISTEN”.

I clicked it.

At maluha-luha ako sa tuwa: MAY DZRH NGA ONLINE! Streaming in Live Tagalog! Loud and Clear!

Hindi lang ‘yun. In the same website you can get all other AM and FM Radio Stations!

http://radiotime.com/region/c_101036/Manila.aspx << < CLICK THIS, TOO!

Sa FM. I tried NU107, RX93, MAGIC 89.1 at DWLL–  Works fine!

Sa AM, sinubok ko rin ang DZMM (Kapamilya) at siyempre, DZBB (Kapuso) para balanced news. Ayus rin!

“Is this my lucky day?” asked the cheapskate in me.

Hmmm… Meron kayang free live streaming ng Philippine TV Shows? (ang mahal kasi ng TFC at GMA Pinoy TV ‘kala n’yo)

Naghahanap pa rin ako.

So far, wala.

But, I found these sites:

http://www.pinoyonline.tv/2009/07/gma-online-live-streaming.html << CLICK THIS QUICK for GMA-7!!!

http://www.pinoyonline.tv/2009/07/kapamilya-online-tv-streaming-abs-cbn.html<< CLICK THIS QUICK for ABS-CBN 2!!!

Works like Tivo.

From A-Z. ‘Yung past shows ng Dos (from Agimat Series: Tiyagong Akyat to Wowowie) at Siyete (from 24 Oras, Eat Bulaga, hanggang Zorro)  meron sila. You have got to try it.

But also promise to keep these sites a secret for the sake of your kababayans abroad.

Alam n’yo naman kung gaano kahigpit ang corporate side ng mga istasyong ito.

‘Pag nagkabistuhan: Bye-bye Freebies!

At tuwing umaga mabubuwisit na naman ako sa sigaw na “Bangun” in another language.

Setyembre 25, 2009. Mga Marka: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . I THOUGHT utot. 2 mga puna.

BAKIT may TAMBOK sa aking PANTALON?

Caught with pants down

(Ely M.) KUNG bibilangin mo ang lahat ng bagay na nakasabit sa katawan mo araw-araw, magugulat ka sa bigat ng  daigdig na pinapasan mo.

‘Eto ang mga nakabukol sa pantalon ko:

Sa kaliwang bulsa ng aking pantalon:

  • SUSI- napakaraming susi na hindi ko alam kung para buksan ang alin. Basta as far as I can remember, isa dito ay susi ng bahay namin.
  • KENDI- Stork, Mentos at isa pang kulay Cherry na wala nang balot na nakadikit na sa bulsa. Tawag ko dito “emergency snack” lalo na kung matagal ang biyahe at walang fast food na madadaanan.
  • COINS- Napakaraming barya na kung bibilangin ko, siguro kulang-kulang 50 pesos ang katumbas(kung iku-convert into pesos). Sa sobrang dami, minsan tinatanong na ako ng mga kaibigan ko kung may luslos daw ba ako.

Sa kanang bulsa ng aking pantalon:

  • 2 USB- Mga impostanteng files na kung ipi-print lahat ay makakapuno ng dalawang steel cabinets.
  • RESIBO- Ng kung anu-anong mga bagay na binili, ginamit, kinain ko at oo ‘yung iba dito, napulot ko lang sa kalye << save the earth ‘eka.
  • CELLPHONE- Kung saan naka-record ang aking non-existing social life. At dahil lumang model at sobrang laki nito, madalas itong napapagkamalan ng mga babae as my  “talong”. I wish.

Sa kanang bulsa ko sa LIKOD ng pantalon:

  • WALLET lang- Pero hindi ganu’n kasimple dahil narito ang …
  1. Mas maraming RESIBO- Dito, nakatupi pa ang lahat. Ito ‘yung mga resibong may nakakabit na “memories” (kung sentimental ka, you know what I mean). “Ah, my FIRST foot massage…”
  2. 5 ID CARDS- 1 from college, 1 PRC Card, 3 lumang IDs galing sa tatlong huling kumpanya na pinagtrabahuhan ko. Yes, I did not surrender them. What can I do, eh, sa naiwala ko, eh.
  3. 3 MEMBERSHIP DISCOUNT CARDS- Mula sa groceries hanggang video rental at Timezone.
  4. 2 CREDIT CARDS- Ito ang pinakamabigat dalhin, lalo na pag singilan na.
  5. 2 E-LOADS- Mahirap nang maubusan habang naglo-long distance.
  6. 1 CONDOM- Mahirap nang mapalaban habang nasa long distance.
  7. 1 TOOTHPICK- Hindi kasi kasya ang toothbrush sa wallet.
  8. POST ITs- Na iba-ibang kulay. Isa sa Post-It ko ay may nakasulat: “Throw all of these  Post-Its away!”
  9. TISSUE PAPER- Kung saan nakalista ang iba’t ibang phone numbers ng hopefully  “cute girls”  na hindi ko na matandaan kung saan ko napagkikilala. ‘Pag walang magawa, pinapahiran ko na rin ng kulangot ‘yung bawat sulok ng tissue paper kaya medyo yellowish na ito.

Sa kaliwang bulsa ko sa LIKOD ng pantalon:

  • Isang malinis na puting PANYO (strange, but true!)

Isama n’yo na riyan ang actual weight ng isang lumang Levis 501, more or less mga dalawang kilo siguro ang bigat ng lahat.

Pantalon ko pa lang ‘yan.

Kaya nga tuwing gabi, pag-uwi ko galing trabaho na pagod na pagod sa maghapong kaka-chat, este….  kakagawa ng “customer’s files”, dahan-dahan akong lalakad papasok at tatayo sa gitna ng aming malamig na kuwarto…

luluwagan ko ang aking cowboy belt

at dali-daling itataas ang aking dalawang braso…

sa sobrang bigat ng aking pantalon, automatic na itong dadausdos pababa  mula sa aking beywang tungo sa aking mga tuhod.

Titingala ako sa kisame

at ng gaya ni Mel Gibson sa “Braveheart” nu’ng kinoronggo na siya sa puwet ng isang steel rod…

sumisigaw ako ng nakakabinging…

(photofrom: www.getreligion.org … Note: Hindi ako ‘yung nasa pic. Maputi ang legs ko.)

Agosto 27, 2009. Mga Marka: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . I THOUGHT utot. 4 mga puna.

Mahirap MABUHAY ‘pag WALANG CABLE

american-idol

(Ely M.) Bago ako nag-abroad I was an idiot to think na pare-pareho ang palabas sa TV kahit saan ka pang lupalop ng mundo mapadpad—Mali. Kahit naka-cable ka pa, iba’t iba ang programming ng bawat bansa para sa same cable channel. Tailor made ito sa taste ng mga tao sa bansang tinitirhan mo. So, ang mga pelikula sa HBO sa States ay iba sa movies ng HBO Asia (kasama dito ang  ‘Pinas).

Ang bad trip niyan kung wala kang cable sa labas ng Pilipinas—kasi hindi mo ma-afford. Ang mahal nga ng cable service dito sa abroad. At ang pinaka-baddest trip ay kung hindi nag-i-English ang citizens ng bansang kinalulugaran mo. You’ll get the worst kind of “free” shows sa local channel nila.

Nu’ng bagong salta pa lang ako dito sa Indonesia at wala pa kaming cable, wala ni isang English show sa local TV. Lahat ng palabas nagba-Bahasa Indonesia (ito ang tawag sa lenguwahe dito) . Ang Bahasa Indonesia ay parang pinagrambol na Ilokano, Bisaya at Kapangpangan—para ma- imagine n’yo kung papaano ito, ‘eto ang sampol: “Bisa saya ambil uang dengan kartu kredit saya?”

Anudaw?

Can I use my credit card to withdraw money? << in English

Kaya nga tuwing manonood ako ng local TV noon with my roommate, sumasakit ang ulo namin pagkatapos. Hindi ma-comprehend ng utak ko kung anuba ang sinasabi nila?!

Anoooobaaa?!

Like the local news– ang ginagawa namin, binabase na lang namin ‘yung supposedly message ng balita according sa actions nu’ng nagsasalita or ng eksena sa video.

“Ah, nagtatakbuhan… siguro may bombang pinasabog?”

“Hindi nakatawa ‘yung mga tao, e?”

“Artista siguro ‘yang pinagkakaguluhan nila?”

“Ah, presscon?!”

“Ahhhhhh…. Oo, nga.”

“May Biogesic ka pa ba?”

“Teka, ‘eto tubig. Puwede hati tayo?”

(Note all the question marks?)

BUT it doesn’t mean na hindi marunong mag-English ang mga Indonesians sa TV. Slang  pa nga sila mag-English dahil karamihan ng celebrities dito or newscasters for that matter ay lumaki or nag-aral sa isang English speaking country, like Australia and the States. They speak Bahasa Indonesia by choice. So, dahil walang choice ang foreign-gers like us, you have to adapt to this kinda system.

On my second week sa bansang ito noong 2006, may isang gabi na hindi ako makatulog. Dahil hindi pa nga ako nakaka-adapt sa pamumuhay, binuksan ko ang TV. Mga 1 am na yata ‘yun.

At parang milagro – sa isang local channel—ipinapalabas ang Season 5 ng…

American Idol—AI…!!!

Hindi ito translated in Bahasa Indonesia… wala itong subtitles in Bahasa Indonesia.

Nagsasalita ang mga tao sa TV— IN ENGLUSH!

Nakita ko muli sina Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson at Paula Abdul na nagpapaiyak ng isang contestant na walang karapatang kumanta using their “destructive” criticisms.

Natuwa ako… at unti-unting tumulo ang isang butil ng luha sa aking mata.

Before I knew it, umiiyak na ako.

Ang dami kong naalala.

Favorite kasi namin itong panoorin sa cable TV namin sa ‘Pinas bago ako nag-aboard.

So, habang nanonood ako at umiiyak… kumakanta ang mga contestants ng kani-kanilang “Stevie Wonder” themed songs.

Naalala ko ‘yung mga kasama kong nanonood ng AI mula pa nu’ng unang ipalabas ito sa Star World channel sa Pilipinas.

‘Yung mga kumpare kong mahihilig sa karaoke na it follows (in our case) mahihilig din sa AI.

‘Yung mga dati kong kaopisina na laging idini-discuss over lunchbreak  kung bakit natsugi at nag-move on ang isang contestant.

‘Yung mga kapitbahay naming nakikinood dahil wala silang cable or pinutol na ng Sky Cable ‘yung tapped nilang linya.

‘Yung mga tawanan at alaskahan sa harap ng TV.

At ‘yung pamilya ko na naiwan sa Pinas.

Haaay nako.

Hindi ka ba naman iiyak niyan?

After the show I realized, hindi naman talaga ‘yung English language ang nami-miss ng mga tulad kong OFW na nakadestino sa isang non-English speaking country kundi ‘yung mga bagay na isinakripisyo naming huwag munang makita at marinig para lang mapaunlad ng konti ang buhay.

In some cases, like this one, kasama nga ang mga pamilyar na lengguwahe sa mga hindi mo muna maririnig.

Believe it or not, it took me nine months bago ulit nakapanood ng American Idol dito sa Indonesia.

Nu’ng finally nagka-cable na kami.

Sa awa ng Diyos.

 (photofrom: mediadecoder.blogs.com)

Agosto 12, 2009. Mga Marka: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . I THOUGHT utot. 5 mga puna.

Noong Unang Panahon… Part 2

the 80s

ONCE AGAIN, I did not write this. Somebody sent it to me and it’s too good not to share with others.

Ito kasi ‘yung mga ginagawa naman namin nu’ng mga huling taon ng pagkapresidente ni Cory, pagkatapos ng kauna-unahang EDSA Revolt at pagsisimula ng pagkalat ng sticker na  “EDsa ’92″– “Ed” meaning “Eddie” Ramos– si FVR, na nanalo nu’ng 1992.

Ito ang mga huling taon ng Dekada ’80 at ang mga unang taon ng Dekada ’90. Ito ang panahong uso pa
ang makiuso. Kung ginagaya mo ang style ng mga artista, hindi ka tatawaging jologs.

Ito ang panahong tapos na ang Bagong Lipunan, pero malayo pa ang New Millennium. Hindi pa high-tech pero ‘di naman old fashioned. Saktong-sakto lang.

Ito ang panahon namin. “Kraakk-Booom!!!!” < sound epek ng kulog at kidlat.

Paano mo malalaman kung kabilang ka sa henerasyong ito?

Narito ang listahan na makapagpapatunay if you’re one of us.

R U?

1. Paborito mong panoorin ang Shaider, Bio-man, Maskman, Mask Rider Black, Machine Man at kung
ano-anong TV sitcom ng Japan na isinalin sa Tagalog. Break muna sa mga laro kapag alas singko na ng
hapon tuwing Sabado dahil panahon na para sa superhero marathon.

2. Alam mo ang jingle ng Nano-Nano. (isang kending lasang champoy)

3. Nanood ka ng Takeshi’s Castle at naniwala kang si Ajo Yllana talaga si Takeshi at si Smokey
Manaloto ang kanyang alalay. (Pinagiisipan mo – pano sila lumalaban sa final challenge na parang nakasakay
sila sa isang bumpcar at nagbabarilan sila gamit ang water gun gayong sa Japan ginagawa ‘yun, eh, taga
Pilipinas sila?)

4. Alam mo ang pa-contest ng Kool 106 na uulit-ulitin mong bigkasin ang “Kool 106, Kool 106″ hanggang maubusan ka ng hininga.

5. Naglaro ka ng Shake-Shake Shampoo, Monkey-Monkey-Annabelle, prikidam 123, Langit-Lupa-Impyerno, Syato, Luksong-Tinik, Luksong-Baka, 10-20 at kung ano-ano pang larong nakakapagod.

6. Pumunta ang mga taga- MILO sa school niyo at  namigay sila ng samples na nakalagay sa plastic cup na kasing laki nung sa maliit na ice cream. (at nagtaka ka, bakit hindi ganito ang lasa ng MILO kapag tinitimpla ko sa bahay namin?)

7. May malaking away ang mga METAL (mga punks na nakaitim) at mga HIPHOP (mga taong naka maluwang na puruntong na sa sobrang luwag , eh, kita na minsan na ang dalawang “santol” sa loob ng pantalon.) Nag-aabangan sa mall na may dalang baseball bat at kung anu-ano pang mga sandata. Sikat ang  kasabihang “PUNKS NOT DEAD!” pero kung gusto mong mag play safe, pwede mong tawagin ang sarili mong HIPTAL.

8. Alam mo ang universal uwian song na “Uwian na!” na kinakanta sa tono na parang doon sa ikinakasal.

9. Nagpauto ka sa Batibot pero hindi sa ATBP.

10. Nakipag-away ka para makapaglaro ng brick game. (Hi-tech na ‘yun noon)

11. Ang “text” noon ay mga karton na may sukat na 1 inch by 1 1/2 inch na may mga drawing ng pelikulang Pinoy. (At may dialog pa!). Kukuha ka ng tatlong text at pipitikin mo, sabay sigaw ng “TSOB!” Kung mananalo ka (medyo kumplikado ang explanation kung papaano– basta may “tsob”, ibig sabihin taob) bibilang ka nang ganito: “Sa-i, Mudawa, Mutayo-tayo-ta, Tomple!”

12. Dalawa lang ang todong sumikat na wrestler,  si Hulk Hogan at si Ultimate Warrior. Naniwala ka rin na namatay si Ultimate Warrior nang buhatin niya si Andre d’ Giant dahil pumutok ang mga ugat niya sa muscle.

13. Nagsayaw ka ng running man at kung anu-anong dance steps na nakapagpamukha sa’yong tanga sa  saliw
na kantang Ice Ice Baby, Wiggle It, Pray at Can’t Touch This.
-
14. Hindi ka gaanong mahilig sa That’s Entertainment at pinapanood mo lang ito tuwing Sabado kung saan nagpapagandahan ng production numbers ang Monday hanggang Friday group. (at badtrip ka sa Wednesday Group dahil pinakabaduy lagi ang performance nila!)

15. Kilala mo ang Smokey Mountain , (first and second generation)

16. Hindi pa uso noon ang sapatos na may gulong. Noon, astig ka kapag umiilaw ang swelas ng sapatos mo tuwing ia-apak mo ito. Tinawag rin itong “MightyKid”.

17. Kung lalaki ka, sikat na sikat sa’yo ang mga larong text, jolens, dampa (mga unang anyo ng pustahan), saranggola at ang dakilang manika niyo ay si GI-JOE with alipores (pelikula na ito ngayon).

19. Kung babae ka naman, ang mga laro mo with your girlfriends ay luto-lutuan, bahay-bahayan, doktor-doktoran, at kung anu-ano pang pagkukunwari. Ang dakilang manika mo ay si Barbie. (Sikat ka kung meron kang bahay, kotse at kabaong ni Barbie.)

19. Naniwala kang original ang isang (baseball) cap kapag maywalong tahi sa visor nito. At kung original ang cap mo, siguradong mai-isnatch ito ‘pag nakasakay ka nang jeep o nakadungaw sa bintana ng bus na walang air-con (remember the red JD Bus sa EDSA?)

20. Swerte ka kapag panghapon ka dahil masusubaybayan mo ang mga kapanapanabik na kaganapan sa mga paborito mong cartoon shows tuwing umaga tulad ng Cedie, Sarah, at Dog of Flanders a.k.a. Nelo. (Hindi ka ba nagtataka na sa lahat ng mga bida sa cartoons na ito, si Nelo lang ang di yumaman at namatay pa ng maaga.)

21. Alam mo ang ibig sabihin ng “TIME FIRST!”

22. Alam mo din ang ibig sabihin ng “PERIOD– NO ERASE!”

23. For girls: malamang nag-away na kyo ng ibang friends mo dahil sa T.G.I.S. at Gimik! Pero nagkakasundo kayo dahil sa Tabig Ilog. (Jologs na kung jologs pero umamin ka!)

24. Madalas kang bumili ng “Wonder Boy” sa iyong suking tindahan.

25. Nilalagyan mo ng “Pritos Ring” ang bawat daliri mo at kakainin mong isa-isa.

26. Binabatukan mo ang mga kasama mo kapag nakakita ka ng kalbo o kotseng kuba (Volkswagen) tapos magtataas ka ng peace sign.

27. At minsan yung linyang “PERIOD NO ERASE” ay may dagdag pang “AKIN PADLOCK, AKIN SUSI” (Eh, di sayo! Hehe.)

28. Noon for little girls, hindi ka “in” pag wala kang magnetic pencil case na maraming pindutan at maraming lalagyan ng lapis at kung ano ano pa.

29. Noon wala ka sa “fashion” pag wala kang Pop Swatch (‘yung relong sinlaki ng wall clock for your wrist.)

30. Kabisado mo ang “Three O’clock Prayer” dahil sa “Three O’clock Habit” at saulado mo din pati ‘yung part na “we have just as one nation started the beautiful three o’clock habit…we hope that this becomes a daily habit with you…”

Bakit kaya ganon? Kahit ‘sang lupalop ka ng Pilipinas lumaki noon, eh, nakaka-relate ka sa mga pinagsasasabi ko.

Siguro’y dahil wala pang Cable at kakaunti lang ang pagpipiliang channels kaya parepareho tayo ng pinapanood. Maaaring wala pang Playstation kaya kung anu-ano na lang ang naiimbentong laro na pwedeng gawin sa kalsada o sa isang bakanteng lote.

Kung ano man ang dahilan sa pagkaparepareho ng mga karanasan natin, masaya na rin akong naging bata (at binata) ako sa panahong ito. Masarap alalahanin at balik-balikan, ‘di ba?

Haay, nako. Nakaka-miss ang ‘Pinas.

More Reminiscing…

(imagefrom: fanpop.com)

Agosto 6, 2009. Mga Marka: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . TIMEtravel. 6 mga puna.

P35 Lang ang Sweldo ng Isang Senador?!!

HINDI ako ang nagsulat nito.

Galing ito sa isang kaibigan ng kapitbahay ng pinsan ng kinakapatid ng katulong ng isang manunulat pampulitika. Sa sobrang dami ng pinagpasahan, nakalimutan na nga ang pangalan ang author. Eniwey, ang mensahe naman ang mas mahalaga. Ire-relay ko na lang nang buo.

At sabay-sabay tayong magmura sa ending.

telembang

MAGANDA rin naman ang naidudulot ng pagiging prangka ni Senador Miriam Defensor-Santiago. Sa isang episode ng Correspondents sa ABS-CBN sabi ni Senator Santiago, marami ang tumatakbong Senador dahil sa laki ng budget na ibinibigay sa kanila kada buwan.

Lumalabas na ang

P35,000 suweldo nila monthly ay pakitang-tao lang sa milyun-milyong budget ng bawat senador.

Ang totoo, kada buwan ay may

P2 Milyon Fixed Monthly Budget (meaning: panggastos) ang bawat Senador.

Para sa opisina pa lang nila ay humigit-kumulang na

P500,000 ang budget nila for Maintenance and Operating Expenses (Rental, Utilities, Supplies at Domestic Travels) at

P500,000 para sa Staff at Personal expenses (personal use, ‘eka nga). Kaya para makatipid ang ibang Senador, kaunti lang ang staff na kinukuha nila. Kadalasan mga kamag-anak din nila ito. Nagtataka ka pa kung bakit mayroong mga Ghost Employees?

Bukod diyan, may

P760,000 allowance pa sila kada buwan para naman sa Foreign Travel (biyaheng abroad for whatever dahil madali namang gumawa ng dahilan). At ang masakit pa nito, hindi na kailangang i-liquidate ang mga resibo ng mga gastusin ‘yan kundi Certification lang ang Requirement. Meaning OK lang kahit walang resibo.

Heto pa, lahat sila ay Chairman ng mga Komite sa Senado. Ang Committee Chairman ay tumatanggap din ng budget na sinlaki ng tinatanggap ng isang Senador na humigit-kumulang

 P1 Milyon din! — ahehe! Nadudoble ‘ika nga ‘pag chairman ka.

Hindi sila mawawalan ng Komite dahil 24 lang ang ating mga Senador at 37 naman ang Committee sa Senado. There’s food for everybody ‘ika nga! Lumalabas na doble ang kanilang benepesiyo at kita kapag sila ay nabiyayaan ng Committee Chairmanship.

P200 milyon ang Budget para sa Pork Barrel ng mga Senador bawat taon, awtomatikong may 10% na S..O.P. o kita ng Senador na

P20 milyon. Ito ang porsiyento na ibinibigay ng mga kontratista sa mga Senador na nagbibigay sa kanila ng mga Infrastructure at Livelihood Project.

Bago matapos ang termino ng isang Senador, kumita na siya ng

P100 milyon sa Pork Barrel pa lang. Yung ibang Senador mas gahaman, hindi lang 10% kundi 20 – 30% ang komisyon ang hinihingi sa mga kontratista. Ito rin ang dahilan kung bakit napakaraming palpak proyekto ang gobyerno. Naibibigay kasi lagi ang kontrata sa pinakabobong kontraktor na pinakamalaking maglagay.

Pansinin niyo na lang ang pagbabago ng buhay ng ilan sa ating mga Senador simula nang manungkulan sa puwesto. Kung dati ay simple lang ang kanilang pamumuhay ngayon ay nakatira na sila sa mga eksklusibong subdivision, maraming bahay sa Pilipinas at abroad at mahigit lima ang sasakyan.

Ngayon nagtataka ka pa ba kung bakit gumagastos ng daan-daang milyong piso ang mga Senador sa kampanya para sa isang posisyon na P35,000 lang ang suweldo kada buwan?

Bawing-bawi pala ang gastos kapag naupo na!

ANG SARAP MAGING SENADOR! ! ! “

PLEASE COPY AND FORWARD to as many of your friends and let the whole country know na sa mga KUPAL lang napupunta ‘yung mga tax na kinakaltas sa suweldo natin tuwing kinsenas at katapusan.

Haaay, nako.

(telembangfrom)

Hunyo 18, 2009. Mga Marka: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . KUPAL nation. 6 mga puna.

Sa Wakas

blog cartoon

(LJI)

NGAYON ko lang na-realize marami palang ibig sabihin ang “sa wakas”.

Una, ibig sabihin may bagay na natapos. Tipong “Haaaaayy! Sa wakas! Natapos din!”

Pangalawa, senyales din ito na may magsisimula: “Haaaayy! Sa wakas ‘eto na!”

Oo nga. SA WAKAS

… nahanap ko rin ang instructions kung papaano gumawa ng isa pang blogsite sa wordpress.

…nakapili rin ako ng theme para sa blog na ito (I’m sure papalitan ko rin bukas–ulit).

… naka-formulate ng title (na tatlong oras ko yatang pinag-isipan. Ang ending ‘lang kwenta pa rin.)

Pero SA WAKAS may bago na naman akong website.

Pang-lima ko na yata ito.

Minsan tuloy naiisip ko mas nag-eenjoy pa yata akong gumawa ng website kesa mag-blog.

Kumuha na lang kaya ako ng web designing course?

Hunyo 14, 2009. Mga Marka: , , , , , , , . I THOUGHT utot. 1 puna.

4:30

insomnia_cartoon_chruch_com

(LJI)

ALAS- kuwatro nang madaling araw.

Mahirap makatulog.

Minsan nagigising ka na lang na nag-iisip nang kung anu-ano.

Una tungkol sa mga problema sa buhay.

Pagkatapos segue sa mga nangyari nung mga nakaraang araw.

‘Yung mga nakaka-senti. Nakaka-asar.

‘Tapos ‘yung nga nakakatawa. Nakakakilig.

‘Tapos papasok sa isip mo ‘yung mga napanood mo sa TV bago ka matulog.

‘Yung pelikulang medyo bastos.

‘Yung leading lady sa pelikula na sexy.

‘Yung mga ginawa nung leading lady at leading man.

Tapos mapapatingin ka sa katabi mo.

Kakalabitin mo… “Honey…?”

Gigising siya.

At sabay…

BATOK SA ULO MO!

Habang sinasabi –

“KUNG AYAW MONG MATULOG MAGPATULOG KA!”

Diyaske.

Makapag-kape na nga lang.

Hunyo 6, 2009. Mga Marka: , , , , , , , , , . I THOUGHT utot. 2 mga puna.

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